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We talked to Sofie, an INFP - The Dreamer, and Rifki, an ESTP – The Adventurer, to find out more about the dynamics of their relationship. Sofie, 24, and Rifki, 25, both live in Indonesia, albeit in a different province, so at the moment they are in a long-distance relationship.

 

How did you meet and how long have you been together?

 

Rifki (ESTP): We met in high school – we were in the same class.

 

Sofie (INFP): We’ve been together since the first year of senior high school. Since 2011! We became best friends, I first noticed him when he asked me to deliver a letter to my friend. They were in a relationship and because we were at boarding school and weren’t allowed mobile phones, we sent letters instead, even though it wasn’t really allowed. I was his ‘letter delivery friend’ for every girlfriend he ever had in high school! He said he really trusted me. He knew I wouldn’t open the letters or badmouth him like the other girls he knew. He said I was different – I would never share people’s secrets and that’s why he trusted me. When he was single, he finally gave me a letter too, in which he asked me to be his best friend. I didn’t have feelings for him at the time because I liked somebody else, and he knew that. We always shared our feelings and thoughts as best friends.

 

What was your first date like?

 

Sofie (INFP): Oh, it has always lingered in my mind. I would never forget it! We watched a rom com movie and he kissed me. It was my first kiss! He said that it was his first kiss too, but who knows…

 

Rifki (ESTP): One of her sandals was broken, so I bought her a new pair!

 

What first attracted you to your partner?

 

Sofie (INFP): His sense of humour. And he is very charismatic.

 

Rifki (ESTP): Her kindness.

 

When did you first consider yourself a couple?

 

Sofie (INFP): Since I was a child, I have always wanted to only have one boyfriend, who would in turn become my husband. I told him this and he agreed to be that person. It’s kind of a foolish plan when I think about it now…I was so naïve!

 

Rifki (ESTP): When I started feeling jealous of Sofie being around other guys, I knew we needed to make it official. She was also jealous about me being around other girls at that point.

 

When did you first discover your personality type?

 

Sofie (INFP): Early 2019. I’d been interested in horoscopes since high school. And as I was learning more and more about horoscopes, I found Myers & Briggs personality types through my friend in the horoscope world.

 

Rifki (ESTP): I discovered that I’m an ESTP in 2019 – through Sofie.

 

Has knowing your personality type impacted your relationship?

 

Sofie (INFP): Yes, it has had a huge impact for me. I am much more accepting of who I am and who he is too. Because that’s our personality. Nothing can change your core personality. The options are letting go or accepting your partner.

 

Rifki (ESTP): Not really for me. We had been together for seven years. We already knew each other’s negatives and positives.

 

What kind of things do you talk about?

 

Sofie (INFP): As an INFP, I try to talk about my passions, my thoughts (I overthink a lot!) but he's just not into it. We sync only when talking about trips, food, music and, yes, sex. He loves talking about it, even though I'm always telling him to stop it. He can't stop!

 

Rifki (ESTP): Travelling and eating out and, because we are in a long-distance relationship now, mostly sex [a lot of laughing]!

 

What do you like most about your partner’s personality?

 

Sofie (INFP): Even when I am angry or sad, he can always make me smile again. And since I started going to therapy in 2018, he has been so much more understanding, more lovely, more caring. He is super adorable now. I'm grateful that he has changed a lot for me.

 

Rifki (ESTP): I love her patience towards me.

 

What would you change about your partner's personality?

 

Sofie (INFP): I know this is part of his personality as an ESTP, but he's just too extraverted. He has a lot of friends – both men and women. I hope he is clear about his boundaries with friendships, because I am scared that people will fall for him. Oh, and his morality is a bit questionable! He always breaks the rules…I hate it!

 

Rifki (ESTP): Her insecurity. If she was less insecure, other negative things like her anxiety, overthinking and nagging would disappear too.

 

What challenges have you faced as a couple?

 

Sofie (INFP): I am such a feeler…I can’t stop hurting myself. That’s my fault. Once he cheated on me and at that time, he was always lying to me. Every time we met there was a new girl on the phone to him. So chatty and annoying. I was completely destroyed, because he is my first love. It was a long, long time ago and thankfully he has now changed. He is accepting of the new me with lots of issues – sometimes I push him away from me. I hope he will always be patient and never tire of me.

 

Rifki (ESTP): When I cheated on her, that made her breakdown – both mentally and physically. I regret it so much.

 

What are you most looking forward to in your future together?

 

Sofie (INFP): Moving towards a more serious relationship; getting engaged and after that marrying him, of course. He is my whole life, unchangeable. I love him from the deepest of my heart.

 

Rifki (ESTP): Marrying Sofie and building a family with her.

SoSyncd Jun 29 · Tags: estp, infp
SoSyncd

Since the deadly outbreak of the virus, nearly every aspect of our lives has been turned upside down — including finding love. Not being able to meet someone in person presents challenges in some ways, but also opportunities. The good news is you don’t have to put your search for love entirely on hold during this time. Lately, we’ve actually seen an increase in the amount of time people have been spending on the site. So, here’s why you can — and should — keep dating, even during social distancing.

Why (and How) to Keep Dating During Social Distancing

1. It combats loneliness.

People now have more time to spend getting to know one another and platforms like So Syncd can help you meet like-minded people and make meaningful connections from a safe distance. 

Our independent research has found that 53% of people are feeling lonelier since the outbreak of the virus, and over half of our survey respondents felt that dating apps help relieve this loneliness. We’ve seen people spending significantly longer on So Syncd recently, so please know that you are not alone; there are other people who want to connect during this tricky period. People are more in need than ever of human connection, and it’s much easier to get through this challenging time with the support of others. 

Jenny Ella, a dating coach, says, “The need to maintain social distance means we’re going back to old-fashioned dating for a bit…building a stronger emotional connection first. Getting to know each other a little better before we physically meet up is a slower start, so it’s great if you feel more comfortable taking baby steps online dating before meeting in person.”

2. Video calling is almost like a real date.

There are a number of great video calling options out there. We’re in the process of integrating video calling at So Syncd to help people connect under these unique circumstances.

If you want to shake things up a bit, use the Houseparty app via exchanging usernames. You can even play fun games together like Heads Up! or compete in trivia quizzes, making it almost like an in-person date. You can also use go-to video apps like FaceTime, Zoom, or WhatsApp. 

3. Limitations will make you more creative.

Contrary to popular belief, psychologists have found that constraints can actually encourage creativity. Just because you can’t meet in person doesn’t mean you can’t have fun and make meaningful connections. Use this time as an opportunity to be more innovative about how you date.

Cook a meal together via video call, then sit down with candles, wine and a shared Spotify playlist for a romantic virtual dinner. You can play all sorts of games, learn a dance together, or have a virtual picnic from your garden. Further down the line, you could send a bottle of wine and flowers to your beau as a surprise. The possibilities are endless.

4. It’s a great time to polish up your dating profile.

Creating a good online dating profile is not an easy task, but you can now spend time refining your existing profile or creating a new one from scratch.

Jenny adds, “One of the silver linings of being in lockdown is that many of us now have more time to write ourselves a good profile and get some photos together. It’s the perfect opportunity to either get started with online dating or fine-tune your current profile.”

Want to Connect with Like-Minded People Right Now?

If you haven’t already, join So Syncd for free today. We’re revolutionizing the way people date by pairing couples who have just the right amount of similarities to “get” each other — and just the right amount of differences to create that spark.

A version of this post originally appeared on Introvert, Dear

SoSyncd Apr 22
SoSyncd

ISFP. ENTJ. INFJ. What does it all mean? These acronyms describe one of the 16 Myers & Briggs personality types and each letter describes a preference for certain personality traits. There are four pairs of letters that represent opposite preferences called dichotomies:


• Extraversion (E) vs Introversion (I)
• Sensing (S) vs iNtuition (N)
• Thinking (T) vs Feeling (F)
• Judging (J) vs Perceiving (P)


Everyone is a mixture of all the traits described by the letters. For example, no one is solely an introvert or an extravert. Extraverts have a need to get out and about and introverts require time alone to reflect. But everyone shows a preference, even if it's only a little, for one characteristic over the other. Let’s take a look at each dichotomy in more detail.


Extraversion (E) vs Introversion (I)

This dichotomy represents how a person directs their energy. It's often assumed that extraverts are loud and introverts are shy. Although this can be the case, it’s not that simple. Extraverts prefer interacting with the outer world of people, objects and activities, while introverts prefer the inner world of thoughts, feelings and dreams. 


Sensing (S) vs iNtuition (N)

This dichotomy indicates how a person perceives information. Sensors prefer concrete, verifiable information. They tend to be more literal, practical and detail-orientated. Intuitives favor theories and abstract concepts. They are more comfortable inferring meanings from ambiguous information and often focus on the big picture.


Thinking (T) vs Feeling (F)

This dichotomy reflects how a person makes decisions. Thinkers prefer making decisions based on logic and impersonal metrics. They like to analyze situations objectively. Feelers favor their personal values and the feelings of others when making decisions. They'll take into account the impact on people and shy away from making decisions based on hard facts alone. 


Judging (J) vs Perceiving (P)

This dichotomy indicates how a person organizes their world. Judgers prefer sticking to a plan and value organisation. They are faster to seek closure when it comes to making decisions. Perceivers see structure as limiting and like to keep their options open. They are adaptable and are more likely to delay making a decision in favor of seeking more information.




 

SoSyncd Apr 14 '19 · Rating: 5 · Comments: 1