The First Kiss: INFP & ESTP compatibility

We talked to Sofie, an INFP - The Dreamer, and Rifki, an ESTP – The Adventurer, to find out more about the dynamics of their relationship. Sofie, 24, and Rifki, 25, both live in Indonesia, albeit in a different province, so at the moment they are in a long-distance relationship.


How did you meet and how long have you been together?


Rifki (ESTP): We met in high school – we were in the same class.


Sofie (INFP): We’ve been together since the first year of senior high school. Since 2011! We became best friends, I first noticed him when he asked me to deliver a letter to my friend. They were in a relationship and because we were at boarding school and weren’t allowed mobile phones, we sent letters instead, even though it wasn’t really allowed. I was his ‘letter delivery friend’ for every girlfriend he ever had in high school! He said he really trusted me. He knew I wouldn’t open the letters or badmouth him like the other girls he knew. He said I was different – I would never share people’s secrets and that’s why he trusted me. When he was single, he finally gave me a letter too, in which he asked me to be his best friend. I didn’t have feelings for him at the time because I liked somebody else, and he knew that. We always shared our feelings and thoughts as best friends.


What was your first date like?


Sofie (INFP): Oh, it has always lingered in my mind. I would never forget it! We watched a rom com movie and he kissed me. It was my first kiss! He said that it was his first kiss too, but who knows…


Rifki (ESTP): One of her sandals was broken, so I bought her a new pair!


What first attracted you to your partner?


Sofie (INFP): His sense of humour. And he is very charismatic.


Rifki (ESTP): Her kindness.


When did you first consider yourself a couple?


Sofie (INFP): Since I was a child, I have always wanted to only have one boyfriend, who would in turn become my husband. I told him this and he agreed to be that person. It’s kind of a foolish plan when I think about it now…I was so naïve!


Rifki (ESTP): When I started feeling jealous of Sofie being around other guys, I knew we needed to make it official. She was also jealous about me being around other girls at that point.


When did you first discover your personality type?


Sofie (INFP): Early 2019. I’d been interested in horoscopes since high school. And as I was learning more and more about horoscopes, I found Myers & Briggs personality types through my friend in the horoscope world.


Rifki (ESTP): I discovered that I’m an ESTP in 2019 – through Sofie.


Has knowing your personality type impacted your relationship?


Sofie (INFP): Yes, it has had a huge impact for me. I am much more accepting of who I am and who he is too. Because that’s our personality. Nothing can change your core personality. The options are letting go or accepting your partner.


Rifki (ESTP): Not really for me. We had been together for seven years. We already knew each other’s negatives and positives.


What kind of things do you talk about?


Sofie (INFP): As an INFP, I try to talk about my passions, my thoughts (I overthink a lot!) but he's just not into it. We sync only when talking about trips, food, music and, yes, sex. He loves talking about it, even though I'm always telling him to stop it. He can't stop!


Rifki (ESTP): Travelling and eating out and, because we are in a long-distance relationship now, mostly sex [a lot of laughing]!


What do you like most about your partner’s personality?


Sofie (INFP): Even when I am angry or sad, he can always make me smile again. And since I started going to therapy in 2018, he has been so much more understanding, more lovely, more caring. He is super adorable now. I'm grateful that he has changed a lot for me.


Rifki (ESTP): I love her patience towards me.


What would you change about your partner's personality?


Sofie (INFP): I know this is part of his personality as an ESTP, but he's just too extraverted. He has a lot of friends – both men and women. I hope he is clear about his boundaries with friendships, because I am scared that people will fall for him. Oh, and his morality is a bit questionable! He always breaks the rules…I hate it!


Rifki (ESTP): Her insecurity. If she was less insecure, other negative things like her anxiety, overthinking and nagging would disappear too.


What challenges have you faced as a couple?


Sofie (INFP): I am such a feeler…I can’t stop hurting myself. That’s my fault. Once he cheated on me and at that time, he was always lying to me. Every time we met there was a new girl on the phone to him. So chatty and annoying. I was completely destroyed, because he is my first love. It was a long, long time ago and thankfully he has now changed. He is accepting of the new me with lots of issues – sometimes I push him away from me. I hope he will always be patient and never tire of me.


Rifki (ESTP): When I cheated on her, that made her breakdown – both mentally and physically. I regret it so much.


What are you most looking forward to in your future together?


Sofie (INFP): Moving towards a more serious relationship; getting engaged and after that marrying him, of course. He is my whole life, unchangeable. I love him from the deepest of my heart.


Rifki (ESTP): Marrying Sofie and building a family with her.

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By SoSyncd
Added Jun 29



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