In relationships, ESTJs are dependable and traditional. They are direct and logical people who take their commitments seriously. ESTJs feel a strongest sense of compatibility and love with partners who are easy-going and fun. They approach life in a highly structured way and they work well with partners who balance them out. ESTJs value efficiency and they don’t like to beat around the bush, so they’ll often make the first move.
ESTJs are most compatible with partners who are relaxed and playful. They are one of the most dutiful Myers & Briggs personality types. ESTJs tend to avoid casual dating and are better suited to being in a long-term relationship that fulfils their need for stability. When dating, ESTJs are happy to take the initiative and sort out things like restaurant bookings and logistics, such as how you’ll get to your date destination.
ESTJs are reliable and enthusiastic in a relationship. They are logical individuals who make a huge effort to ensure their loved ones are happy. ESTJs often take care of the day-to-day responsibilities, such as paying bills or organizing trips away, because they know they’re good at it. They can’t stand inefficiency or things not being done on time. They are good with money but they can be controlling.
ESTJ strengths in relationships
The following strengths are typical of ESTJs in relationships:
1. Loyal. ESTJs are a deeply loyal personality type. They’re the kind of person who will stick by your side through all kinds of ups and downs. ESTJs will go out of their way to provide for their loved ones and they can be counted on to follow through on their promises.
2. Dedicated. ESTJs are dedicated when it comes to relationships and they tend to be faithful to their partners. Their committed nature means that once they’re in a relationship, they will really work at it and they aren’t ones to give up easily when it comes to love.
3. Rational. ESTJs are rational and they naturally focus on details. ESTJs are one of the few personality types who are good at accepting criticism. They are able to see it objectively rather than viewing it as a personal attack and they are often grateful for constructive feedback.
4. Enthusiastic. ESTJs are enthusiastic when it comes to relationships. They take a ‘can do’ attitude to life and they are upbeat partners, particularly when it comes to achieving goals as a couple. You’ll often find ESTJs out and about doing various activities and they often encourage their partners to join.
ESTJ weaknesses in relationships
The following weaknesses can be typical of ESTJs in relationships:
1. Narrow-minded. ESTJs can be narrow-minded. They place a great amount of importance on tradition and can expect others to uphold similar values to themselves. ESTJs can find it hard to see things from other people’s points of view because they can be very set in their ways.
2. Judgmental. ESTJs can be judgmental. They have a set way of looking at the world and they have strong opinions on how people should live their lives. ESTJs are one of the Myers & Briggs types who are most likely to obey the rules and they can be scathing of those who don’t.
3. Insensitive. ESTJs aren’t the most sensitive personality type. Their directness and honesty can be a strength to some extent, but in some situations their way of communicating can upset their partner. ESTJs sometimes forget that not everyone is as rational as they are.
4. Controlling. ESTJs can be controlling in certain situations. They highly value structure and predictability in all areas of their life, to the extent that they often try to enforce structure through their own actions. This can result in ESTJs attempting to control their partners.
ESTJs fall in love quickly, but only when they meet the right person. They are decisive and they have a clear vision of what they’re looking for in a partner. When they meet someone who ticks all their boxes (quite literally sometimes), they fall in love hard and fast. ESTJs are pragmatic though, so they’ll make sure that their love interest fits in with their future plans before letting themselves fall for them.
ESTJ flirting style
ESTJs have a direct flirting style. They are confident and are comfortable taking the initiative when it comes to flirting. ESTJs certainly aren’t shy when it comes to showing their interest in someone and they’re not the kind of type to favor subtle flirting techniques. If an ESTJ likes you, they’ll make it very clear.
ESTJ sexual compatibility
ESTJs have a focused and dominant sexual energy. They aren’t afraid to take charge of all kinds of situations and this usually translates to the bedroom too. ESTJs value stability and they enjoy sex more when it’s with someone who they feel a sense of true compatibility with. They will want to make sure that their partner is satisfied and they will likely prefer sex at specific times due to their love of routine.
ESTJs have a practical and outspoken communication style. They are comfortable leading conversations and presenting to large groups of people. ESTJs convey their message in a clear and concise manner. They are quick at thinking on their feet and they’re happy to share their opinions loud and clear. ESTJs tend to focus on the details rather than the big picture.
ESTJ compatibility with other personality types
ESTJs are ambitious and efficient individuals who are attracted to people who bring spontaneity to their lives. ESTJs are most compatible with partners who balance out their need for structure with an easy-going attitude. At So Syncd, we consider ISFPs and ISTPs to be the best Myers & Briggs matches for ESTJs:
1. ESTJ – ISFP relationships. ESTJs are attracted to the easy-going, passionate, and creative nature of ISFPs. ISFPs help ESTJs relax and let loose now and again. ISFPs are attracted to the deliberate, ambitious, and dedicated nature of ESTJs. ESTJs help ISFPs add some structure to their lives.
2. ESTJ – ISTP relationships. ESTJs are attracted to the hands-on, understated and adaptable nature of ISTPs. ISTPs balance out the ESTJ’s need to follow a routine all the time. ISTPs are attracted to the direct, confident, and committed nature of ESTJs. ESTJs can help ISTPs find direction and channel their talents.
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