29 Things to Know When Dating an INFJ

INFJ dating

INFJs can struggle when it comes to dating. We need a lot of alone time and meeting new people can be draining for us. Plus, we value intense, deep connections with a select number of people and we’re known to overanalyze (just a little bit!).

However, INFJs are some of the most enigmatic and interesting people you’ll ever meet. We have a strong sense of intuition and often find ourselves in the role of counselor or mediator.

If you’re dating an INFJ, or are curious about what makes them tick, read on! Here are 29 things you need to know.

1. We are extremely passionate about our values.

Despite appearing calm and reserved, we will always stand up for what we believe in and we care deeply care about making a difference in people’s lives. Ultimately, we want to find a way to make a positive impact. INFJs are also very idealistic. We believe that it’s possible to create a better world and we’re willing to put in the work to make that happen.

2. We are constantly seeking ways to grow and improve.

This is because we want to be the best possible version of ourselves. Plus, we are natural-born perfectionists, so we’re always striving to achieve our goals, and one way to do this is through self-improvement. INFJs also believe that personal growth is essential for happiness and fulfillment in life.


3. We are great at giving advice but we also have a hard time taking it.

It’s no surprise that INFJs are sometimes called ‘The Counselor’. We love giving advice because we love helping those in need and we have a strong sense of intuition so we can often see the best solution for a problem. However, we can struggle to accept advice because we often have such strong convictions about what’s right and wrong. Plus, we’re very independent people, so we don’t like being told what to do. However, if you can find a way to respectfully give us advice that aligns with our values, then we’ll take it on board.

4. We are incredibly loyal and supportive partners.

INFJs are extremely loyal partners (and friends!) because we believe in the power of connection. We know that mutual support and understanding can make a huge difference in people’s lives, so we take relationships very seriously. If you’re dating an INFJ, know that they will always be there for you when you need them.

5. We are private people who prefer deep conversations over small talk.

INFJs are private people and we like to keep our inner thoughts and feelings to ourselves. We prefer deep conversations because we want to connect with others in a meaningful way, particularly when it comes to dating. Additionally, INFJs often find small talk to be superficial and pointless.

6. We are always looking for ways to help others.

INFJs are extremely altruistic and compassionate people. We care deeply about making a difference in the world, and one way we can do this is by helping others. Whether it’s through volunteering, donating to charity, or simply lending a listening ear, we’re always looking for ways to make a positive impact.

7. We have a hard time dealing with conflict.

This is because we’re such peace-loving people. We hate seeing people hurt or upset, so we often avoid conflict altogether. In general, we are happiest when those around us are content. However, we are highly aware that conflict is sometimes necessary in order to resolve a situation. In these cases, we try to take a compassionate and understanding approach. Nonetheless, dealing with conflict head-on doesn’t come naturally to us!

8. We are natural-born caregivers.

This is because we’re deeply empathetic people, to the extent that we feel other people’s emotions as if they are our own. We love taking care of people and we’re always there for them when we need us. Additionally, we love to give advice and offer support.

9. We are extremely introspective and self-aware.

INFJs are very introspective because we like to spend time alone reflecting on our thoughts and feelings. We’re also extremely self-aware, which means that we have a deep understanding of who we are and what we want in life. If you’re dating an INFJ, be sure to give them space to introspect.

10. We are great at reading people.

We’re very intuitive and observant people. We often know what someone is thinking or feeling before they even say it. Additionally, we’re experts at reading body language and nonverbal cues. Even though we’re introverts, we are people-oriented individuals. INFJs are good at understanding social dynamics because we are able to see the underlying motives and intentions of people’s actions.

11. We have high standards for ourselves and others.

This is because we’re the ultimate idealists. We believe that everyone has the potential to be great and we expect nothing less than the best from ourselves and others. However, sometimes these high standards can be unrealistic and can lead to disappointment.

12. We can be great leaders.

We might not have in-your-face leadership traits but we have a more understated power that lies within. In fact, we can be very effective leaders because we’re confident, decisive, and passionate about our beliefs. Additionally, we’re always looking to bring out the best in others.


13. We are very imaginative and creative.

This is because we’re extremely intuitive and we have a rich inner life. Additionally, we’re often able to see the world in a different way than others, which allows us to come up with new and innovative ideas.

14. We can be too idealistic.

We believe that everyone has the potential to be a good person and we have a deep desire to make the world a kind and more accepting place. Additionally, we have high standards for ourselves and others, which can sometimes be unrealistic. But hey, we like to dream!

15. We sometimes have a hard time fitting in.

We’re unusual individuals and we often don’t conform to societal norms or expectations. In fact, the best way to phrase it is that we march to the beat of our own drum. Additionally, we’re introverts who prefer deep conversations over small talk, which can make it difficult to connect with others.

16. We are often misunderstood.

We have a lot going on beneath the surface and we share very little of what goes on in our minds unless you know us really well. We’re often mislabeled as shy or aloof when, in reality, we’re just introspective and private people. Additionally, our high standards and idealism can sometimes be misinterpreted as being unrealistic or overly critical. If you’re dating an INFJ, know that they have a deep desire to be understood.

17. We have a lot to offer the world.

We have a lot to offer others, whether it’s our time, our support, or our creativity. In particular, we enjoy lending an ear and helping friends work through their problems. Additionally, we’re always looking for ways to make a positive impact in the world.

18. We take a while to open up.

We have a lot going on in our heads and, as introverts, we process a lot of information internally. Sharing our thoughts and feelings with others doesn’t come naturally to us. You’ll need to be patient if you want to see our many layers.

19. We want to feel understood.

This is because we crave connection and intimacy. We want someone who’s willing to really see us for who we are and accept us in a very real way. Additionally, we want someone who’s open-minded and willing to explore new ideas with us.

20. We want a partner who’s as passionate about life as we are.

It doesn’t usually come across when you first meet us, but we are deeply passionate and intense people. When it comes to dating and relationships as an INFJ, we want someone who can match our energy and enthusiasm for life. Additionally, we want someone who shares our values and who is just as committed to making a difference in the world.

21. We are looking for a connection that goes far beyond looks.

When it comes to love, we won’t settle for anything less than the deepest connection. Small talk is boring for INFJs. In fact, it actually drains us of energy. We want a partner with whom we can share our deepest fears and biggest dreams.

22. We are different when you get to know us.

As a result of our social skills, we’re good at coming across as ‘normal’ when we want to. But as you get to know us, you’ll discover that we’re actually pretty weird! However, we’re selective about who we let in, so you might not discover this about us for a while.

23. We prefer one-on-one meet-ups.

While INFJs can be social creatures, we generally prefer one-on-one meet-ups to large groups. We find that we can connect with people better when we’re meeting them one-on-one and we feel more comfortable in smaller settings.


24. We need alone time to recharge.

This is because we’re introverts who require time to ourselves in order to recharge and rejuvenate. We need alone time in order to feel our best, and we often feel drained and weary after socializing for extended periods of time. Additionally, we often need time to process our thoughts and feelings after a long day.

25. We are always growing and changing.

As a result of our constant introspection, we’re constantly growing and evolving, and we’re always looking for ways to improve ourselves. Additionally, we’re always seeking new experiences and adventures, which helps us to grow as individuals.

26. We will never stop trying to understand you.

Truly, we want you to feel understood and accepted. If you’re dating an INFJ, they’ll want to know everything about you. INFJs are curious individuals who love to learn about all kinds of things and we like to delve deeper into the minds of those we care about.

27. We love you for all that you are.

We accept and appreciate you for who you are, flaws and all. Ultimately, We know that you’re not perfect, and neither are we, but we find can find beauty in that (when we put our perfectionist tendencies to the side!). When it comes to dating and relationships for INFJs, we accept our partners in a profound way because we care about them deeply. Plus, acceptance is something that we yearn for so much ourselves.

28. We are very sensitive people.  

INFJs are extremely sensitive individuals. One thing that is unique to INFJs is that we are very in touch with other people’s emotions. When you’re happy, we’ll feel your happiness, and the same goes for when you are sad. This is both a blessing and a curse. In fact, one of the reasons why we value outer harmony so much is because conflict has a profound impact on us.  Additionally, we feel everything deeply but we don’t always know how to express our emotions.

29. We have a hard time voicing our needs.

We can find it difficult to let you know our needs and set boundaries when it comes to dating. One of the reasons for this is that we don’t like to inconvenience people. So if you’re dating an INFJ, be sure to check in with them to see how they are feeling.

Share this post to help other people understand INFJ dating

We hope this provides some insight into what makes INFJs tick and helps make your relationship a little smoother. Remember, we’re all unique individuals so not everything on this list will apply to every INFJ – but it should give you a good starting point.

If you haven’t already, be sure to check out our other post on INFJ compatibility. Or perhaps you’re an INFJ and you’d like your partner to understand you on a deeper level? Share this post with them and see what they think!

Looking for an INFJ dating app or an INFJ online dating site?

If you’re looking for an INFJ dating app or an INFJ online dating site, you’ve come to the right place. So Syncd is a dating app that matches compatible personality types. Download So Syncd for free on Android or iOS today to start making deeper connections.

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