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The Steady Self Program

The Steady Self Program is an 8-week, 1:1 coaching program to repattern your attachment style at the root & become securely attached so you can show up with grounded confidence.

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This is for you if…

  • You've built a career, a life, a reputation… and relationships are the one place you still feel lost. 

  • You overthink texts, replay conversations, or find yourself pulling away right when things start to get deeper.

  • You understand logically how you “should” respond but you feel hijacked in the moment.

  • You’re thrown off balance by uncertainty (more than you’d like to admit).

  • You struggle to say what you need and would rather stay quiet than say something “wrong”. 

  • You want a clear, structured way to actually fix this rather than just awareness.

  • You're committed to changing your patterns now so this isn't something you're still fighting in 10 years.

A man with dark hair and facial hair, wearing a white shirt and a red plaid shirt, is outdoors with trees in the background. He has a calm expression and is wearing wireless earbuds.

Imagine if…

  • A delayed text or change in tone didn't send your mind into overdrive.

  • You said what you needed without worrying you'd push them away.

  • You enjoyed your relationships instead of constantly trying to predict what happens next.

  • You handled conversations calmly and clearly in all areas of life.

  • You stayed focused and kept moving forward, even when things felt uncertain. 

  • You showed up with the confidence that naturally builds attraction and connection (without playing games or being overly dominant). 

  • You knew you'd be okay whatever happened.

This could be YOU! Your attachment style isn’t your personality. It’s a set of learned patterns that can be changed (often much faster than people realize).

A woman with long, wavy blonde hair smiling in front of a bright window, wearing a green button-up shirt and a necklace with a heart-shaped pendant.

Hi, I’m Jess

I’m a relationship and attachment coach. I’ve spent the past half a decade studying what makes relationships work and helping people change the patterns that get in the way. Before becoming a coach, I spent years working in analytical roles (chemistry, research and finance!), which probably explains why I’ve never been satisfied with vague advice like “love yourself more” or “just communicate better.” 

My approach combines attachment theory, personality psychology and practical tools to help you change unhelpful patterns at the root, so secure behavior becomes your default rather than something you have to force.

I've spent hundreds of hours coaching people with anxious and avoidant attachment patterns (sometimes both), and I've built a clear, repeatable process for changing them. Because this is highly personalized 1:1 work, I only take on a handful of clients at a time.

If this sounds like the right fit for you, apply below. If I think I can help, I’ll get back to you to set up a complimentary 30-minute discovery call where we can talk through your situation and the program in more detail.

Whatever you're dealing with right now, it's probably much more solvable than it feels.

What People Are Saying

  • “I’m a lot less anxious, being able to better self-regulate and not take small actions too personally or let them compound into whatever my mind would spin them off to.   Simply put, I'm happier. I feel less anxious, and I'm no longer overthinking all the little things that may have hurt me but probably didn't mean what I thought they did. I don't spiral.”

  • “We're getting along much better and communicating much better. The hurt and resentment I felt affected the way I engaged, which caused a snowball cycle. I also sleep much better because my mind can finally rest. I'm more at peace and happier. I've been able to stop over- and misinterpreting every little thing.”

  • “Jessica’s coaching was honestly better than therapy. I learned more from my sessions with Jessica than during a year and a half of therapy. Things that used to bother me, do not bother me as much. Situations that would usually make me feel anxious, no longer do so.”

  • “I’m not as affected by the little things and her perception. I’m much more calm and together. My wife acknowledged that I’m a completely different person. Even my therapist was like, 'Who the hell are you!?'”

  • “Before doing this with you, I had a real fear of rejection. I’m not frustrated, in a bad mood or depressed anymore. I feel lighter. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

  • “Now when she doesn’t text back right away, it’s okay and fine. I don’t worry. It’s weird. My inner chaos and turmoil is significantly less. I don’t take things personally or check her social media throughout the day now.”

  • “I’m amazed at how profoundly this has changed me already. Most of the time I’m calm now and I’m much more connected to my emotions now. I’ve finally found peace and other people can feel it. My friends care way more because I share. In fact, some of my friendships have become deeper over these past few weeks than they have in years. I’m now excited, not afraid, to go out on dates and meet women.”

APPLY HERE

Frequently Asked Questions

  • The Steady Self Program includes eight remote hour-long 1:1 sessions. We usually meet once a week, although sometimes we’ll move to biweekly sessions depending on what makes sense for you.

  • It’s different. The Steady Self Program is a goal-oriented framework to become securely attached. The focus here is on changing the patterns at the root, so you can create lasting change in how you think, feel and behave in relationships, as quickly as possible. Many of my clients have been to therapy before or are currently in therapy.

  • Most people start noticing meaningful changes within the first 4-5 weeks. By the end of the eight weeks, people who consistently follow the process typically feel much more secure, respond very differently to situations that once felt overwhelming and no longer spiral the way they used to.

  • I often get asked things like, “What if I’m too far gone?” Well, I can honestly say that I’ve never worked with anyone who has followed the process consistently and not seen real change. Attachment patterns can feel like they’re "just who you are". But in reality, they're learned responses, which means they can be unlearned.

  • Life happens. We can reschedule sessions when needed (as long as all eight sessions are used within four months of starting the program). I regularly work with people who travel for work and I've never yet had an issue finding a way to make the schedule work.

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