The extroverted introvert is a paradox in many ways. They are quiet, thoughtful, and reserved. But they are so deeply interested in those around them. They ask you questions from a place of genuine curiosity. But spending time with people drains them of energy. They crave meaningful connections so much. But they can’t stand small talk.
Does this sound like you? If so, you might be an extroverted introvert. They are complex creatures, and there are two main reasons why you might be one.
Firstly, you might be a people-oriented introvert. Even though introverts need alone time to recharge, their lives can still revolve around people and human connection. During times when they need to recharge, they might connect with people from a distance. For example, on internet forums or over messaging apps.
Secondly, you may sit towards the middle of the introvert-extrovert spectrum. Your social needs might not be as strong as an extrovert, but you still enjoy the company of others more than your counterparts who are more strongly introverted.
Some introverted extroverts describe themselves as ambiverts. But strictly speaking, ambiverts don’t exist in a category of their own, as discussed in our introvert vs extrovert post. Everyone has a mixture of introverted and extroverted traits, just to different degrees.
13 signs you’re an extroverted introvert
So, what are some signs that you might be an extroverted introvert? Let’s take a look.
1. You’re a great listener.
Extroverted introverts are often excellent listeners. They ask a lot of questions and take the time to really hear what someone is saying. While they find their conversations are usually relatively balanced, they do tend to listen more than they talk.
2. You like to observe people.
Extroverted introverts love people-watching. They find joy in observing the way people interact, and they’re always picking up on new things about human behavior. This is because they are fascinated by the psychology behind how people think and behave.
3. You crave deep connections.
Extroverted introverts are people-oriented. This means that their lives revolve around people and human connection. They generally aren’t the life of the party, and they need to balance socializing with alone time. But they still enjoy being around others and seek meaningful connections.
4. You’re good at reading people.
Extroverted introverts are good at reading people. They can pick up on the subtlest of cues, and they have a keen understanding of human behavior. This helps them to understand what others are thinking and feeling.
5. You’re a natural communicator.
Extroverted introverts are often great communicators. While they might need to take a minute to find the right words, they are good at expressing themselves and supporting others. This makes them excellent at giving advice and guidance.
6. You can be charismatic.
Extroverted introverts can be very charismatic when they are in the mood to be social. They have a way of making people feel comfortable and are often the ones who bring people together. This is because they know how to build relationships, and they have a strong desire for connection.
7. You’re warm but private.
Extroverted introverts usually come across as warm and friendly. This is because they are genuinely curious about other people’s lives, and they want to make a connection. In reality, they are quite private and take a while to share aspects of themselves with others. But they can appear more open than they are because of their interest in people.
8. You’re good at networking.
Extroverted introverts often excel at networking. While they might not enjoy big networking events, they’re skilled at making contacts through one-to-one meetings. They generally prefer to meet business contacts for coffee or a drink rather than go to an event where they don’t know anyone.
9. You plan get-togethers.
Extroverted introverts often plan social events when they feel recharged. While they won’t organize group gatherings on a regular basis, they are energized by the thought of bringing together people who they value and love. This is because they want those close to them to be happy and fulfilled.
10. You need to recharge after socializing.
Extroverted introverts enjoy socializing to a point, but they need to recharge after spending time with people. This is because socializing can be draining for them, especially if it’s in a large group setting. Once they leave a social event, they often require silence. They can go from being very talkative to very quiet in a split second.
11. You adapt to the group.
Extroverted introverts often have a variety of roles in different groups of people. They might be the leader in one group and the follower in another. This is because they are adaptable, and they can change their behavior to fit the needs of the group. They don’t have the desire to dominate a conversation, but if a group is struggling, they’ll step up and take the lead.
12. You have a lot of individual friends.
Extroverted introverts often know a lot of people, but they tend to have a number of individual friends rather than groups. This is because they often don’t like the pressure of having to attend regular get-togethers with a group. Plus, they value quality over quantity and would rather have a few close friends than a lot of acquaintances.
13. You’re often mistaken for an extrovert.
Extroverted introverts are often mistaken for extroverts because they come across as charismatic and warm. They have strong social skills, and they genuinely enjoy being around people. But in small doses! As an extroverted introvert myself, even some of my closest friends sometimes question whether I am truly an introvert.
7 famous extroverted introverts
Extroverted introverts are a unique breed. But there are a number of them in the public eye and depicted in fiction. Here are seven that you might relate to.
1. Emma Watson
Emma Watson is often mistyped as an extrovert. This is because she is people-oriented and has exceptional social skills. In interviews, she comes across as warm and is very comfortable in the public eye. But she is actually very private and doesn’t share much about her personal life. Emma once said, “The truth is that I’m genuinely a shy, socially awkward, introverted person. At a big party, I’m like Bambi in the headlights.”
2. Johnny Depp
This may come as a surprise to some, but Johnny Depp is actually an extroverted introvert. He’s not the outgoing, life-of-the-party type that you might expect him to be. In fact, he prefers to stay out of the spotlight and keep to himself. Although the spotlight seems to seek him out… Johnny Depp once said, “I’m f*ckin’ shy, man. I’m living, in a sense, like a fugitive. I don’t like to be in social situations – it’s fine for me in a weird way, having to run and hide. Less and less, I have the opportunity to observe because I’m the one being observed.”
3. Kim Kardashian
This could be one of the most surprising celebrities on our list of extroverted introverts. She is one of the most famous people in the world, the ultimate socialite, and a savvy businesswoman. Kim Kardashian is a self-confessed introvert. The reality TV star has said that she’s an introvert and prefers to stay at home than go out. She’s also said that she doesn’t like clubbing or drinking, which are typically more extroverted activities.
4. Britney Spears
Britney Spears is a perfect example of an extroverted introvert. She is a prominent household name and she regularly shares her life on social media. But in the early days of her conservatorship, Britney said she wasn’t made for the music industry and that she’s been shy since she was a little girl. Britney still tends to avoid high-profile events and interviews. With her newfound freedom, she is more able to express herself and her individuality on social media.
5. Elon Musk
Elon Musk is an ambitious extroverted introvert. This is probably news to a lot of people who see this keyboard warrior as this extroverted, larger-than-life figure. But the truth is, as a self-proclaimed introvert, he actually prefers to keep to himself. His father, Errol Musk spoke of Elon Musk’s introverted nature, saying, “Elon has always been an introvert thinker…So where a lot of people would go to a great party & talk about all sorts of things like rugby or sport, you’d find Elon had found the person’s library & was going through their books.”
6. Lady Gaga
Lady Gaga is often mistaken for an extrovert. But she admits she is shy, and she often feels like she doesn’t fit in. Lady Gaga uses fashion to enhance her performance persona, and she is unapologetic about it. She once said, “I always like when I have a hat big enough to keep people away at pretentious parties. It’s protection.” That sounds like an introvert to us!
7. Nelson Mandela
Nelson Mandela was an extroverted introvert with strong leadership skills. He was a successful introverted leader because he was able to see the world in terms of possibilities, not limitations. He was someone who motivated and inspired people to be their best selves. Ultimately, Nelson Mandela showed the world that anything is possible if you believe in yourself and fight for what’s right.
Ranking the introverted 16 personality types
There are certain introverted personality types that are more likely to be extroverted introverts than others. We take a look at some of these personality types below.
1. ISFJ
ISFJs are naturally people-oriented. They are the most likely to be extroverted introverts because they are interested in others and want to build relationships. ISFJs often put the needs of others ahead of their own and their focus on other people can make them seem like extroverts. But in reality, ISFJs are quite introverted.
2. ISFP
ISFPs are creative and spontaneous. They are the second most likely to be extroverted introverts because they have the ability to be present in the moment. As a result, they tend to spend more time in the real world than in their heads compared to some other introverts. Plus, they often enjoy sharing their creative side with the world.
3. INFJ
INFJs are gentle and compassionate. They are the third most likely to be extroverted introverts because they are very interested in people and crave deep, meaningful connections. In addition, they are highly aware of other people’s needs which means that they are very attentive.
4. INFP
INFPs are intuitive and idealistic. They are the fourth most likely to be extroverted introverts because they are fascinated by human psychology. They want to understand why people think and feel the way they do. In addition, INFPs are very compassionate which makes them good at empathizing with others.
5. ISTP
ISTPs are grounded and pragmatic. They are the fourth least likely to be extroverted introverts because they have a unique ability to be present and also in their heads. On one hand, they are highly practical and don’t tend to overthink things. On the other hand, they are very independent and value their freedom.
6. ISTJ
ISTJs are organized and logical. ISTJs are the third least likely to be extroverted introverts. While they value human connection, they tend to be very task-oriented. They are often more focused on getting things done than they are on interacting with others. Plus, they prefer to stick to a routine and don’t like impromptu socializing.
7. INTJ
INTJs are strategic and rational. They are the second least likely to be extroverted introverts. INTJs often prefer to spend time alone so that they can think deeply and critically about the world around them. They are often focused on achieving specific goals and they can view some social occasions as a waste of time.
8. INTP
INTPs are curious and analytical. They are the least likely to be extroverted introverts. INTPs often like to spend time alone so that they can explore their interests in depth. They are often more interested in ideas than people and they can find small talk to be tedious.
Final thoughts on extroverted introverts
So, what have we learned? Extroverted introverts are unique individuals. They can feel like outsiders in both worlds, which means they sometimes struggle with feeling misunderstood. However, they bring unique strengths to the table that can be harnessed for success.
If you’re an extroverted introvert or know someone who is, share this post with them to help spread awareness about this special group of people. And if you want to learn more, read our post about introverts vs extroverts.
