15 Signs He Wants to Define the Relationship

15 Signs He Wants to Define the Relationship blog cover

Have you been dating someone for a while now, but you aren’t sure if he wants to commit? It can be tough to figure out if your partner is ready to define the relationship, also known as DTR. Ultimately, you won’t know until you have a conversation. But there are signals to look out for. Today we explore signs he wants to define the relationship.

15 signs he wants to define the relationship

So let’s jump right in. Here are the 15 signs he wants to define the relationship.

1. He makes plans with you way in advance.

If your guy is making future plans with you way ahead of time—like a weekend trip or tickets for an upcoming concert—it shows that he is thinking about the future of your relationship. Planning activities and events in advance shows commitment and that he has the desire to spend quality time with you. After all, why would someone plan something months down the line with someone they aren’t serious about? So, if he’s organizing things for you as a couple that are months away, it could be a sign that things are getting serious.

Couple

2. He checks in on you regularly.

Does your guy text or call just because? It may seem cute, and you might even wonder why he’s suddenly being so attentive, but it’s another sign that you have moved beyond casual dating status. If he is taking time out of his day to check in and see how you are doing, then it shows that he cares about your well-being. Ultimately, if your partner is checking in with you on a regular basis,it shows he is invested in your life.

3. He talks about the future with you.

One of the key signs he wants to define the relationship is that he talks about the future with you. This includes discussing topics such as marriage, children, and even just long-term goals and dreams. If he is comfortable enough to talk about these topics with you, then it’s a sign that he wants to take your relationship further. Additionally, it indicates he is trying to figure out whether being together long-term is feasible. If a guy is working out how aligned you are on big life decisions, it’s a good sign.

4. He introduces you to his friends and family.

If your guy has introduced you to the important people in his life, then it’s a sign that he wants to take your relationship to the next level. Meeting friends and family is generally a big step in any relationship. If he has introduced you to his loved ones, then it can be a sign that he is ready for something more serious. However, it’s worth noting that this doesn’t always happen before you’ve defined the relationship.

5. He starts describing you as “we”.

Now, this is one of the more subtle signs he wants to define the relationship. If your guy has started talking about you in terms of “we” instead of “you and I,” it can indicate that he wants to take things further. By using the word “we,” your guy shows that he sees you both as one and that in his mind. It also indicates he has integrated you into his life. Having a sense of being a team is an important part of any relationship. If he is already speaking in terms of the two of you being one, it’s a positive sign.

6. He wants to know everything about you.

If your guy is interested in learning more about you—from your family and your hobbies to your interests and biggest dreams—it is a sign that he is investing in you and your relationship. If he asks questions about all aspects of your life, then it shows that he cares about getting to know you on a deep level. This plays a major role in building a strong connection. This can be a sign that he wants to move your relationship along.

7. He goes out of his way to help you.

If your guy is going out of his way to help you—whether it’s offering to drive you somewhere, getting something for you when he is out, or just lending a hand with something you need—then it could be a sign he wants to DTR. Doing thoughtful things for someone and going the extra mile isn’t just a way of showing he cares. It’s also a sign that he wants to make your life easier in any way he can.

Couple

8. He follows through on his word.

If he is consistent in following through on his word, then it’s a sign that he is committed to your relationship, and he wants to prove that he is trustworthy. This could be small things like always showing up when he says he will or bigger commitments such as helping you with something that you need. If he is consistent with his actions, it can be a sign that he wants to define the relationship.

9. He makes you feel secure.

If your guy makes you feel secure and loved, then it can be a sign he wants to define the relationship. Generally, men’s actions are consistent with their feelings. If he’s doing all the right things and never leaves you hanging, it indicates that he cares deeply for you. If you feel secure in your relationship, then it’s a clear sign that things are progressing.

10. He’s at his happiest when you’re around.

One of the biggest signs that he wants to define the relationship is if he’s at his happiest when you’re around. If your guy is his most content when you’re together, it shows he values your presence. When men decide whether they want to define the relationship, they think about how much fun, positivity, and happiness you bring to their lives. If your guy is always happy in your presence, it indicates he enjoys being around you.

11. He’s attentive to your needs.

Another sign that he wants to define the relationship is if he’s attentive to your needs. This could be anything from asking how you’re feeling when you don’t feel well to taking the time to plan a special date for you. You can often sense when someone is paying attention to your needs. If your guy is consistently looking out for you, then he’s showing that he is invested in your relationship. This is a sign that he wants to define the relationship.

12. He’s proactive at making plans with you.

If your guy is proactive in terms of planning to see you, it’s a sign that he enjoys your company. When a guy really likes you, he’ll initiate plans to see you and spend time with you. It won’t feel tiring, and like you’re the one always doing the asking. At the end of the day, if someone wants to spend a lot of time with you, it can be a sign that they want to take things further.

13. He asks for your opinion.

Another clear sign that he wants to define the relationship is if he takes your opinion seriously. If he wants your input on decisions or is consistently checking in with your opinion, then it’s a sign that he values you and the relationship. This could be anything from asking your opinion on what to order for dinner to wanting your advice on a major life decision. It could even be looking at your reaction when he tells a joke or makes a comment. If he’s actively seeking your input and views, then it’s a sign that he wants to take the relationship to the next level.

14. He remembers small details about your life.

If your guy is really paying attention to the small details about your life, then it’s a sign that he wants to define the relationship. This could be anything from remembering your favorite food or the name of your cat. He might even ask about how things are going with a project at work that you mentioned. This level of genuine interest and attention shows he cares about who you are and wants to be part of your life.

15. He pays close attention to your body language.

Finally, if your guy is paying attention to your body language, it’s a sign that he wants to define the relationship. If a guy is paying close attention to your body language and he responds accordingly, it’s a sign that he wants to make you feel as comfortable as possible. It also shows that he is mindful of your feelings and wants to make sure you’re happy. If his goal is always to keep you smiling, then it indicates that he truly cares about your happiness.

One of these signs alone isn’t enough to guarantee that your man is ready to move things forward, but if you’re experiencing several of them, then there’s a good chance that he wants to define the relationship.

DTR FAQs

We’ll finish off by looking at some talking stage FAQs.

Why is it important to define the relationship?

Defining the relationship can be a scary step, and you might worry that you’ll push them away. But it is necessary at some point. DTR allows both of you to understand where you stand with one another and if the relationship is heading in the right direction.

Without having a clear understanding of your partner’s feelings and your relationship status, people can end up getting hurt. For example, one person may be expecting a committed relationship while the other is just looking for something casual.

So, if you’re wondering why it’s important to DTR, think of it as a way to ensure that both parties are on the same page. This reduces the risk of disappointment or misunderstanding further down the line. When matters remain unclear, you can end up dealing with drama and hurt feelings in the long run.

When should you define the relationship?

The right time to DTR is when you are both getting your needs met on a regular basis and you feel a strong sense of connection. When defining your relationship, you are essentially both saying that the relationship works for you. So it should be one that you want to maintain, or at least well on its way to that point.

If you are still figuring out major aspects of your relationship, such as communication or how much time you want to spend together, then you might want to wait a little longer to define your relationship. Of course, these things are always evolving as a relationship progresses, but you should start with a good foundation when you DTR. 

Ultimately, you should only have the DTR talk when you feel confident that you see a future with that person. If you are wondering about more specific timelines, some people might feel comfortable defining the relationship in a matter of weeks, while others prefer to wait for many months. There is no specific timeframe that is “right” because there are so many variables that come into play.

Couple laughing on a date

What should I do if my partner doesn’t want to define the relationship?

There are many reasons why someone might not want to define the relationship. For example, they might not be sure about their feelings for you yet, or they might simply be afraid of commitment.

If your partner isn’t willing to define the relationship yet, then you should respect their decision and ask them why they don’t feel ready. Once you understand their reasoning, it can help you figure out your next steps.

You’ll need to decide whether or not you’re willing to continue dating them. It’s important to be honest with yourself and your partner. If you’re feeling frustrated or think they are stringing you along, it can be a good idea to end things.

In the case that you decide to wait a while longer, you should stay open to dating other people. If your partner doesn’t want to define the relationship, they shouldn’t expect to have you all to themselves. You should still keep your options open until both of you are ready.

Final thoughts on 15 signs he wants to define the relationship

Ultimately, you won’t know whether someone wants to DTR until you have the conversations. But the signs we’ve described in the post are signals to look out for that can indicate he’s ready to define the relationship.

When you have the conversation, just make sure to communicate what you need and want in a clear and loving way. By talking openly and honestly about your feelings, you’ll be able to figure out what’s best for both of you.

If you liked this post, you might also like our blog about dating exclusively vs being in a relationship.

“Matching people using personality types is such a simple and powerful concept. So Syncd helped us find love, even in this difficult time. You’ve really changed our lives. In fact, we’re now married! Thank you.”

– Ben (INFJ) about Indy (ENFJ)

Get So Syncd the personality type dating app