INTPs can struggle when it comes to dating. We are complex individuals, and we rarely meet people with whom we connect in a meaningful way. We need a lot of alone time, and meeting new people can be draining for us. Plus, we value intense, deep connections with a select number of people.
However, INTPs are some of the most enigmatic people you’ll ever meet. We are open-minded intellectuals who love to solve problems. Additionally, we have a wide range of interests, and we are never short of things to talk about.
In this post, we run through 31 things you need to know when dating an INTP. So, if you’re dating an INTP or are curious about what makes them tick, read on.
1. We aren’t big on small talk.
We find small talk to be pointless and a waste of time. Most of the time, we would much rather cut to the chase and get down to the meat of the conversation. We want to talk about things that are meaningful and interesting, not just the weather or what you had for lunch.
2. We are always up for a good debate.
Be prepared to defend your position on just about everything because we will want to test your logic. We enjoy a good, intellectual debate and love nothing more than to pick apart someone’s argument. It’s not personal; we just like to figure out how things work and get to the bottom of things.
3. We are extremely curious.
We are always asking questions and seeking to understand the world around us. This can sometimes make us seem like we’re nosy, but we’re just curious about everything. If you’re dating an INTP, know that they will never stop trying to learn more about you and the world around them.
4. We like our alone time.
We are perfectly content spending time by ourselves and don’t need constant companionship. If you’re dating an INTP, don’t take it personally if we want to be alone sometimes; it’s just that we need time to think and reflect on our own.
5. We can be blunt and direct.
We are straight shooters and will tell you like it is, even if it’s not what you want to hear. If you’re dating an INTP, you can be sure that they won’t play games. We believe in honesty and directness, even if it means stepping on a few toes.
6. We aren’t big on emotions.
We are logical thinkers and prefer to deal with things in a rational way. Plus, we don’t like to get bogged down in emotion and can sometimes come across as insensitive. However, if you need a shoulder to cry on, we will be there for you in times of need.
7. We are always thinking.
Our minds are always going, and we are constantly processing information. We are always seeking knowledge and love to learn new things. This can sometimes make us seem distracted or disinterested when, in reality, we are just deep in thought.
8. We are highly independent.
We are self-sufficient and don’t like to rely on others. Plus, we are independent thinkers and don’t like to be told what to do. This can sometimes make us seem stubborn or resistant to authority. If you’re dating an INTP, don’t try to control them. They’ll only rebel against it.
9. We aren’t afraid of a challenge.
We enjoy a good challenge and are always up for trying new things. In fact, we like to push boundaries and test our limits. This can sometimes make us seem reckless or impulsive, but we’re just always looking for a new adventure.
10. We value intelligence in a partner.
We are attracted to people who are intelligent and can keep up with our fast-paced minds. Plus, we want a partner who can challenge us and keep us on our toes. If one thing’s for sure, we are turned off by people who are close-minded or who aren’t interested in learning new things.
11. We are resourceful.
We are fast thinkers and can come up with solutions to problems in the blink of an eye. This resourcefulness comes in handy in all areas of our lives, from our careers to our personal relationships. If you’re dating an INTP, you can be sure that they will come up with original solutions to your problems.
12. We aren’t the best at expressing our emotions.
We are not very emotional people and can sometimes have difficulty expressing our feelings. This is not because we don’t care but because we often have trouble understanding our own emotions. If you need a partner who is in touch with their emotions, an INTP might not be the best match for you.
13. We can come across as cold, even if we like you.
We can be perceived as cold or uncaring because we often do not show our emotions on the surface. It’s not that we don’t have feelings; it’s just that we process them differently than other types. If you’re dating an INTP, please be patient and understand that it takes us longer to verbalize our emotions.
14. We aren’t naturally social creatures.
As introverts, we prefer to spend our time alone or in small groups, and we don’t like large crowds or social gatherings. This can sometimes make us seem antisocial, but we just prefer to be in our own thoughts.
15. We are always thinking about possibilities.
It’s not that we love planning; it’s more that we love to explore novel concepts and debate with our partners. We need a partner who is willing to engage in mental gymnastics with us and who is open to discussing our unconventional ideas.
16. We are always growing and changing.
We are constantly seeking knowledge and love to learn new things. This means that we are always growing and changing as people. This can be both good and bad, as we are always open to new experiences but can also be easily influenced by others.
17. We sometimes have a hard time finishing things.
We are always jumping from one thing to the next. This can make us seem like we’re not committed, but we just have a hard time finishing things if we lose interest. We start projects with enthusiasm but can get bored quickly if we lose interest.
18. We like to keep our options open.
We are independent thinkers who like to have a lot of options. If you’re dating an INTP, you should know that it doesn’t mean we’re not interested or invested; it’s just that we don’t like to plan too far into the future. We don’t like to be tied down or feel like we are being pressured to commit to one thing before we are ready.
19. We aren’t always the most romantic people.
INTPs are not known for being the most romantic people. We may not always say or do the things that you want us to, but we do have our own unique way of showing our love for you. If you’re dating an INTP, know that they show their love in a different way than most people.
20. We are always in our own world.
We can get completely lost in thought. This can sometimes make us seem like we’re not present or engaged in the conversation. We’re not trying to be rude; we just have a hard time pulling ourselves out of our own heads.
21. We are laidback but spontaneous.
We love new experiences, and we are always up for trying new things. In general, we are happy to go with the flow as we have a laid-back nature. As a result, we come across as calm people, which is true most of the time.
22. We are looking for someone who will broaden our minds.
We want a partner who is open-minded and willing to try new things. When it comes to dating and love, we need to find our partners fascinating, and we appreciate it when they show us new perspectives. We aren’t looking for someone who is a cookie-cutter or who conforms to societal norms.
23. We are extremely loyal.
When we find a partner that we connect with, we are extremely loyal. We will stick by them through thick and thin. We are looking for the same qualities in a partner. If you’re dating an INTP, know that we are some of the most trustworthy people around.
24. We take a while to open up.
It takes us a while to open up and trust people. We are very private, and it takes time for us to feel comfortable enough to share our thoughts and feelings. If you’re dating an INTP, be patient with them and know that they will eventually open up to you.
25. We can struggle to understand your emotions.
INTPs are extremely logical individuals, and we can find it hard to understand your more emotional side. We may not always say the right thing, but we will make an effort to understand how you’re feeling. If you’re dating an INTP, know that they care about you even if they don’t always show it in the way that you want them to.
26. We don’t always fit in.
Our independent thinking and unconventional views can sometimes make us feel like we don’t fit in. We’re not the type of people who follow the crowd. INTPs march to the beat of their own drum, and we prefer to do things our own way.
27. We have sharp minds.
We are extremely quick at processing new information and concepts. Plus, we are very focused on ensuring that information is accurate. If you’re dating an INTP, they might sometimes come across as a know-it-all.
28. We can be forgetful.
We are always seeking to understand the underlying meaning behind things around us and aren’t content with simply taking things at face value. Our minds are racing at 100mph, and we can sometimes forget things because we get lost in our thoughts. If you’re dating an INTP, you should know that zoning out is typical of our personality type, and it’s not that we find you boring.
29. We can become all consumed by our interests.
We can get really passionate and obsessed about the things that interest us, and we really enjoy learning about the things we love. If you’re dating an INTP, know that they will always be looking to learn more about their current interests and that they will never get bored of talking about them.
30. We are prone to procrastination.
We are known for putting things off until the last minute. This can make us seem irresponsible, but it’s just that we like to take our time and do things our own way. If you’re dating an INTP, know that they will probably procrastinate on planning dates or other important things, but they will always come through in the end.
31. We need a lot of mental stimulation.
We get bored easily, and we need a lot of mental stimulation to keep us engaged. This can make us seem like we’re fickle, but we just need to be constantly challenged. If you’re dating an INTP, be prepared for us to always need new and exciting things to keep us interested.
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We hope this provides insight into what makes INTPs tick and helps make your relationship a little smoother. Remember, we’re all unique individuals, so not everything on this list will apply to every INTP. But it should give you a good starting point.
If you haven’t already, be sure to check out our other post on INTP compatibility. Or perhaps you’re an INTP, and you’d like your partner to understand you on a deeper level? Share this post with them and see what they think.