31 Things to Know When Dating an ISTJ

ISTJ Dating blog cover

ISTJs are introspective and loyal. You can count on us to take our commitments seriously. We may be seen as unromantic by some, but we make up for it with our reliability and dedication.

People of the ISTJ personality type are amazing partners who value stability and tradition. We are patient and logical in our approach to dating, and we are often good at taking care of the practical details in relationships.

In this post, we run through 31 things you need to know when dating an ISTJ. So, if you’re dating an ISTJ or are curious about what makes them tick, read on.

1. We are extremely loyal.

ISTJs are some of the most loyal people you’ll ever meet. Once we commit to someone, we are in it for the long haul. We’re incredibly dedicated partners who value honesty, and we will always stick to our word.

2. We aren’t the most affectionate people.

While we might not be the quickest to give compliments, we show our love through actions. We’re more likely to do something special for you than tell you how much we care. It’s not that we don’t appreciate words; it’s just that we feel more comfortable showing you we care by doing things for you.

3. We like to plan everything out.

ISTJs are notoriously organized and love having things planned out in advance. We like to know what’s going on and what to expect. This can sometimes come across as us being controlling, but it’s really just our way of trying to avoid chaos. If you’re dating an ISTJ, they will probably want to plan dates ahead of time.


4. We are private people.

ISTJs are pretty introverted and reserved when it comes to sharing our thoughts and feelings. We’re not the type to pour our hearts out to just anyone, and it can take us a while to open up. But once we trust you, we will be incredibly loyal.

5. We can be stubborn.

Once we make up our minds, it’s hard to change them. One of the reasons for this is that we always make logical decisions. We like things a certain way and can be pretty inflexible when it comes to deviating from our plans.

6. We need alone time to recharge.

As introverts, we need time to ourselves to recharge after being around people. We’re not necessarily antisocial, but we do enjoy our alone time and might need some space more than others.

7. We aren’t big on small talk.

We prefer substance over small talk and can sometimes find it difficult to make meaningless conversation. This can make us come across as aloof or uninterested, but it’s really just that we’d rather talk about something of depth.

8. We like a tidy and organized life.

 ISTJs are highly practical people who value order and organization in their lives. We like things to be in their proper place and can get stressed out when our environment is cluttered or chaotic. If you’re dating an ISTJ, try not to be too messy!

9. We aren’t the most spontaneous people.

While we do appreciate spontaneity in others, it’s not really our thing. This is because we feel more comfortable when we know what’s going on. That being said, we can still be spontaneous from time to time!

10. We are logic-driven.

As thinking types, we are driven by logic and reason. We make decisions based on facts and evidence and aren’t as swayed by our emotions. This can make us seem unemotional, but it’s really just that we prefer to think with our heads rather than our hearts.

11. We pick up on small details.

We often notice things that others might miss. This can be both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, it makes us great problem-solvers. On the other hand, it can sometimes make us seem nit-picky.

12. We have very good memories.

If you’re dating an ISTJ, chances are they remember things that you said months ago. We have a knack for retaining information and can often recall details from past experiences. This can be helpful when it comes to problem-solving, but it can also make us seem a bit obsessive.

13. We can be quite serious.

While we do have a sense of humor, we tend to be on the more serious side. We’re not really the type to crack jokes or play around. This can make us seem a bit uptight, but once you get to know us, you’ll find that we have a silly side too.

14. We aren’t the most emotional people.

As thinkers, we prefer to focus on logic and reason over emotion. This doesn’t mean that we don’t feel emotions, but they might not be as readily apparent to others. If you’re dating an ISTJ, don’t take our lack of emotional expression as a sign that we don’t care.


15. We can be extremely focused.

When we set our minds to something, we can be pretty single-minded in our pursuit. This can make us seem a bit tunnel-visioned, but it also enables us to be very successful when we want to be.

16. We don’t like the limelight.

As introverts, we tend to be more comfortable in small groups or one-on-one settings. This can make us seem shy or aloof, but really, we just prefer not to be the center of attention. If you’re dating an ISTJ, they will be more than happy for you to take the spotlight!

17. We are practical.

We are very practical people who value usefulness and efficiency. In addition, we like things to have a purpose, and we are always looking for ways to optimize or streamline our lives. If you’re dating an ISTJ, know that they will always be on top of practical matters.

18. We sometimes miss the big picture.

Because we focus on details and love to solve problems, we can sometimes miss the forest for the trees. This means that we might get bogged down in the details and lose sight of the bigger picture. If you’re dating an ISTJ, remind them to see the big picture from time.

19. We have high standards.

When it comes to relationships, ISTJs have high standards. We’re looking for a partner who is kind, considerate, and supportive – someone who we can count on. Additionally, we want our partner to be someone with whom we can share a deep connection.

20. We are old souls.

At heart, ISTJs are old souls, and we aren’t the kind of people who enjoy staying out partying until the early hours of the morning. We tend to be wiser beyond our years, and we often have a huge base of knowledge. This can make us great partners, as we can offer different perspectives.

21. We always follow through.

If we say we’re going to do something, we’ll do it. We always follow through on our commitments, and we expect our partners to do the same. This can make us seem a bit inflexible, but it also means that you can always count on us.


22. We are extremely honest.

We believe that honesty is the best policy, and we always operate with integrity. In fact, ISTJs value these things above all else. We expect our partners to be honest with us as well, and we will always be truthful with you, even if it’s not what you want to hear.

23. We are creatures of habit.

ISTJs like structure and routine. We feel comfort in the familiar, and we like knowing what to expect. So, if you’re dating an ISTJ, don’t be surprised if they like to stick to a fairly strict schedule. We don’t tend to leave much room for spontaneity and can struggle when plans change.

24. We can be blunt and direct.

Because we value honesty, we can sometimes come across as blunt or direct. We say what we mean, and we mean what we say. This can make us seem a bit insensitive, but really, we’re just trying to be truthful.

25. We are hard workers.

ISTJs are some of the hardest workers out there. We’re the type of people who are always willing to roll up our sleeves and get to work. We have the ability to be incredibly focused when we want to be.

26. We like things to be fair.

ISTJs believe in fairness and justice. We want everyone to be treated fairly, and we always try to operate with integrity. We can sometimes have a hard time understanding why people would take advantage of others.

27. We are patient.

One of the best qualities of ISTJs is our patience. We’re the type of people who are always willing to give things time, and we understand that not everything happens overnight. If you’re dating an ISTJ, know that they will always be patient with you.

28. We can take a while to open up.

ISTJs can be very slow to open up about themselves. It can take us a while to feel comfortable enough to share our thoughts and feelings with someone, and we will only do that if we trust you on a deep level.

29. We value tradition.

ISTJs often have a great appreciation for tradition. We like things to be done the way they’ve always been done, and we see value in the tried and true. If you’re dating an ISTJ, you should know that they will often take things like birthdays and Christmas seriously.

30. We don’t do things by half-measures.

ISTJs are all-or-nothing types of people. We don’t do things halfway – we either commit fully or not at all. In fact, we don’t really like casual dating and tend to prefer long-term, committed relationships.

31. We are trustworthy.

If you’re dating an ISTJ, you should know that they will always be honest with you. We believe in being truthful, and we will always stick to our word. Honesty is something we look for in a partner, too. It’s a non-negotiable trait, so if you’re dating an ISTJ, you should make sure you are trustworthy.

Share this post to help other people understand ISTJ dating

We hope this provides insight into what makes ISTJs tick and helps make your relationship a little smoother. Remember, we’re all unique individuals, so not everything on this list will apply to every ISTJ – but it should give you a good starting point.

If you haven’t already, be sure to check out our other post on ISTJ compatibility. Or perhaps you’re an ISTJ, and you’d like your partner to understand you on a deeper level? Share this post with them and see what they think.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

“Matching people using personality types is such a simple and powerful concept. So Syncd helped us find love, even in this difficult time. You’ve really changed our lives. In fact, we’re now married! Thank you.”

– Ben (INFJ) about Indy (ENFJ)

Get So Syncd the personality type dating app