If you’re dating someone with ADHD, and you’re wondering how texting fits into the relationship dynamic, you’re not alone. It’s a highly popular means of communication between couples. But when you’re dating someone with ADHD and texting, it can also be a source of frustration.
However, this doesn’t mean that the relationship is doomed or texting cannot be a successful form of communication with someone who has ADHD. It all comes down to understanding, patience, and developing effective communication strategies that work for both individuals.
7 challenges of ADHD & texting when dating
So why do ADHD and texting have such a complicated relationship? Let’s take a look at some reasons below.
1. Sporadic and unpredictable replies.
One of the main reasons is that ADHD can affect someone’s ability to focus on extended conversations, which are necessary for meaningful texting. You might be in the middle of a great text exchange with them when they suddenly change the subject, go off on a tangent, or disappear completely. The chances are, they got distracted.
2. Responding in an emotionally charged manner.
People with ADHD can struggle to regulate their emotions, which means they may respond in an emotionally charged way. This can make texting difficult to navigate, particularly when you aren’t able to read the other person’s body language and hear their tone of voice.
3. Sending impulsive texts.
The truth is when someone has ADHD, texting can be tricky because those who have this disorder tend to act impulsively. They may be quick to react, respond with short and often jumbled messages that don’t fully explain their thoughts, or send messages that they later regret. This can lead to misunderstandings and potential conflict.
4. Leaving you on read.
Those with ADHD may be disorganized and forgetful, which can lead to difficulty keeping track of conversations. This means that they can forget to reply or even read your messages in the first place. They might get distracted by something and say to themselves that they will reply to you later. But by the time comes around, they might have forgotten about it. Sometimes, they might forget to reply to you for days on end because they have thrown themselves into a new project.
5. Sending a barrage of messages.
On the other hand, those with ADHD can also be very enthusiastic about texting and send an overwhelming number of messages at once, making it hard to keep up with the conversation. When you have ADHD, there are no half-measures! So it can be quite a rollercoaster ride dating someone who has this disorder.
6. Impatient responses.
Another somewhat ironic issue is that someone with ADHD might be impatient with texting and expect an instant response to their messages. They might become frustrated if they don’t get a reply quickly. It comes from a place of wanting to do things there and then instead of having to wait. This can be confusing and seem unreasonable, especially when they forget to text you back for long periods of time.
7. Making mistakes when texting.
Finally, people with ADHD might make more mistakes while texting. They might misspell words, use the wrong ones, forget to use punctuation, or accidentally send a message twice. At times, they may also send messages to the wrong people, which can cause a lot of confusion. This is because their thought processes are so fast that it’s hard for them to even keep up with themselves.
Although it can be difficult, dating someone with ADHD and texting can work if both parties are understanding, patient, and willing to work out a solution that suits both parties.
6 tips for dealing with dating someone with ADHD & texting
So we’ve established that dating someone with ADHD and texting comes with its challenges. But how should you deal with the situation? Here are our top tips.
1. Don’t take it personally.
The first thing to remember when dealing with someone with ADHD is not to take it personally. People with ADHD often have difficulty focusing and can be disorganized or forgetful. It’s important to remember that this is not intentional and that they are not doing it to annoy you.
2. Set texting boundaries.
At the same time, you also shouldn’t be afraid to speak up and set boundaries. Let the person know how you are feeling and what you need from the relationship when it comes to texting. While your partner is probably not acting in certain ways out of lack of care, it’s important to make sure that your needs are being met as well.
3. Communicate.
Communication is key when it comes to dealing with dating someone with ADHD and texting. Make sure that you are both being honest about your needs and talking through any misunderstandings or potential conflict before it gets out of hand.
4. Be patient.
In any relationship, it can take some trial and error to find a system that works, and this is especially true when one of you has ADHD. Be patient and understanding as you both figure out what works best for the two of you.
5. Be mindful of texting triggers.
It’s also important to be aware of any triggers that might set off their impulsive behavior and try to avoid them. This could be anything from using a certain tone of voice to sending too many messages at once. You will likely pick up on these triggers over time as you get to know one another better.
6. Have a plan of action.
Dating someone with ADHD and texting does require more intentional effort. It’s important to come up with clear, practical solutions as well as talk through the emotional side of the situation. For example, you could suggest that your partner sets reminders on their phone to encourage them to respond and to maintain consistent communication. It can even be helpful for them to set reminders to take a break from texting altogether if needed.
While it’s important to be understanding, you shouldn’t ignore your own needs. Just because your partner has ADHD, it shouldn’t absolve them from any kind of responsibility for their behavior, and they shouldn’t use it as an excuse not to work with you on solving issues that are causing problems in your relationship.
Ultimately, when you’re dating someone with ADHD, you need to figure out if you can balance both of your needs and come up with a system that works in order to have a fulfilling relationship.
Using texting alongside other forms of communication
There are plenty of reasons to turn to texting. First up, it’s often simply the most efficient way to stay in touch. Texting is fast, easily accessible, and doesn’t require any fancy equipment – not even a working internet connection.
However, it’s important to remember that texting is not the same as face-to-face communication, and it should complement it not replace it. When we communicate via text messages we cannot see body language or hear the tone or inflection in someone’s voice.
It can be hard to interpret what someone else is really saying or feeling. This lack of visual cues can lead to miscommunication and misunderstandings if both people involved don’t take the time to really read and think about each other’s messages before responding.
Final thoughts on dating someone with ADHD & texting
Dating someone with ADHD and texting can be challenging at times, but it’s important to remember that it is possible to make it work if both of you are willing to be understanding and patient. With some effort, communication, compromises, and mutual respect, it doesn’t have to be an uphill battle.
It’s worth noting that there are a lot of upsides that come with dating someone with ADHD too. Not only do they bring an incredible zest for life and unending energy, but their unique perspective on the world gives us a chance to challenge our own.
People with ADHD can be some of the most passionate people out there when it comes to relationships, so it’s also something that should be appreciated and embraced.
Even when it comes to texting, there can be benefits to dating someone with ADHD. They can show enthusiasm, originality, and thoughtfulness.
Anyway, use these tips as guidelines and do what works best for you and your partner. Communication is key so make sure to talk openly and honestly about any concerns or issues that arise.
Finally, don’t forget to have fun! Texting is a great way to stay connected and have a laugh with your partner.
If you enjoyed this post, you may also like our blog about healthy relationship boundaries.
