If you’ve ever been on a date, you know it can be nerve-wracking. But for those living with anxiety, it can feel even more intimidating. Trying to stay calm in the face of potential rejection or awkwardness is tough for anyone, but for those who are dating with anxiety, it can seem near impossible.
It is important to remember that you’re not alone and that anxiety affects millions of people. In addition, there are things you can do to manage your anxiety and create a more enjoyable and successful dating experience.
Tips for dating with anxiety
So, if you find yourself trying to navigate the dating world while managing your anxiety, here are a few tips that might help.
1. Take it slow.
When looking for someone to date, don’t feel pressure to rush into anything. Take your time getting to know people before making any commitments. Dates should be fun and natural; they shouldn’t feel like a job interview or an exam. Make sure you take enough time to get comfortable with someone before making any decisions about pursuing something more serious. Remember that no matter how much pressure you may feel from others, there is never any need to rush into something before you’re ready.
2. Don’t be scared to set boundaries.
If a situation starts making you feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed, remember that it’s okay to set boundaries. This could mean anything from saying no when asked out again or taking some time away from the person if things start getting too intense too quickly. No matter what boundary setting looks like for you, remember that it’s always okay—and necessary—to protect yourself emotionally. Telling someone your boundaries is also a great way to get across what’s important to you in a relationship.
3. Talk to someone about it.
Talking to a trusted friend or family member can help provide perspective on any issues you may be having. They might be able to provide advice on how to better manage your anxiety in a dating context and can help remind you of your strengths and worth. In addition, talking out loud about your anxiety to someone you trust can be a great way to help you process your feelings and gain insight. Additionally, talking to a counselor or therapist can be a good idea in some situations.
4. Know your triggers.
It’s important to be aware of any triggers that might make your anxiety worse. It could be certain topics or situations like meeting someone’s parents or talking about money. Knowing your triggers can help you prepare for dates and be better equipped to handle any difficult conversations that may come up. It can also help to build up to these triggering events and not jump into them immediately. This gives you a chance to build confidence and also helps the other person get to know you better. By the time a triggering event comes up, your date will be able to offer you emotional support.
5. Practice self-care.
Self-care is essential for managing anxiety. Make sure to take time for yourself each day and do things that relax you and make you feel safe. This could mean going for a walk, listening to music, writing in a journal, or anything else that helps you feel grounded. In addition, it’s important to take care of your body. Make sure that you are getting enough sleep, eating healthy meals, and engaging in regular physical activity. All of these things can help reduce stress and make you feel better about yourself. It can be a good idea to practice self-care right before a date so you can be in the best possible headspace for it.
6. Celebrate your wins.
Dating with anxiety can be tough, and it’s easy to focus on the negatives. But don’t forget to celebrate the successes! Whether it’s a positive experience on the date or a small step you take to manage your anxiety, make sure to acknowledge and appreciate it. Doing this can help build your confidence and remind you that you can do it—even with anxiety. It also helps to set realistic expectations for yourself and remind yourself that any pressure you feel is not a reflection of your worth.
7. Challenge your thought patterns.
Anxiety can distort your thoughts and lead you to believe things about yourself that may not be true. It’s important to challenge these thought patterns and replace them with positive ones. This can be done through mindfulness, journaling, or cognitive-behavioral therapy. Self-reflection and self-compassion can also be very helpful. So next time you catch yourself thinking negatively, take a few moments to examine why you’re thinking that way and remind yourself of the things that are true. Instead of looking for signs that your date isn’t interested in you, look for signals that they are. This can completely change your outlook on the situation.
8. Plan low-pressure dates.
Arrange dates that involve low-pressure activities, particularly in the early stages of dating someone. For example, you could go to the movies, go for a walk in the park, or do a hike. Date activities like this can feel less intense and allow the two of you to get to know each other without feeling too much pressure. At the same time, they also provide a great way for you to get to know each other. However, in order to plan low-press date activities, you have to first understand what makes you feel most comfortable. The low-pressure date ideas we suggested are just some examples that may or may not resonate with you.
Dating with anxiety can be tough, but there are steps you can take to make things easier for yourself.
Dating with anxiety FAQs
Let’s take a look at some dating with anxiety FAQs.
Can people with anxiety be in a relationship?
Yes, people with anxiety can be in a relationship. In general, the same rules apply to dating with anxiety as they do to any other relationship. The relationship should involve healthy communication, respect, and kindness toward each other.
At the same time, there are nuances that come with dating with anxiety that may require additional understanding from both partners. It’s important to be open and honest about your anxiety so that your partner can offer emotional support and help you manage your anxiety.
At the end of the day, dating with anxiety comes with its own challenges, but it won’t stop you from nurturing strong and healthy connections when it’s managed in the right way.
When should you tell your date that you have anxiety?
The million-dollar question– when should you tell your new love interest about your anxiety? Well, it all depends on the person. Some people might be more comfortable discussing their anxiety early on in a relationship, while others may prefer to wait until they’ve gotten to know someone better.
It’s all up to you to decide when is the best time, but don’t let your anxiety stop you from opening up at some point in a relationship. After all, communication is key. Make sure to focus on finding someone who will create a safe space for talking about things like this and make sure that they’re having open and honest conversations with you.
There’s no need to make it seem like it’s a bigger deal than it has to be, and it’s important to remember that opening up about your anxiety doesn’t mean you are defined by it. It’s simply a part of who you are at this given moment in time. It doesn’t mean that it will stay with you forever.
At the end of the day, if someone isn’t willing to be understanding about your anxiety, then they aren’t the right person for you. You deserve someone who will love and accept you just as you are.
What if I can’t stop thinking about my anxiety on the date?
It can be difficult to focus on the date when thoughts about your anxiety keep running through your head. If you can, try to take a few deep breaths and focus on being present.
Notice the sounds around you, feel your feet on the ground, or pay attention to what the person you’re with is saying. Doing this can help to bring yourself back into the moment and allow you to get out of your head and enjoy the date.
If your anxiety is still too much to handle, it’s okay to take a break and excuse yourself for a few moments to take some deep breaths in a quiet space. This can help you to reset and refocus so that you can get back on track.
Remember that it’s okay to have a few anxious moments, and it doesn’t mean that you won’t be able to enjoy the date. So try not to let it cloud your experience.
Final thoughts on dating with anxiety
Dating with anxiety can be tricky but not impossible. With these dating tips in mind, along with some self-care practices outside of dating, navigating the dating scene can become much more manageable—even enjoyable.
So, when possible, take some risks, open up, and learn how far your boundaries extend. Above all else, remember that it’s okay to take things slow and know that the right person will appreciate and respect all parts of you.
