• 117

ESFJ: So Supportive

ESFJ personality type in a nutshell

ESFJs are the ultimate social butterflies. They’re highly adept at picking up on social subtleties, instinctively noticing body language and tone of voice. Being highly aware of social boundaries, they know exactly what is acceptable in various circumstances and they tailor their behaviour to meet the expectations of people around them. As a result, they are the perfect hosts.

In their friendship groups, ESFJs are known for taking the lead when arranging social events, which isn’t a surprise seeing as they are in their element when surrounded by friends and family. If there’s one thing ESFJs love, it’s feeling appreciated. They’ll do their best to support those close to them in a number of ways, both big and small.

“There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.”

George Sand

ESFJs are loyal and empathetic individuals who absorb other people’s emotions. When their loved ones are happy, they’ll feel their happiness as if it’s their own, and when their loved ones are sad, they’ll often feel similarly. ESFJs will go above and beyond for the people they care about.

Famous ESFJs

  1. Taylor Swift: Taylor Swift, one of the most famous singers in the world, is an ESFJ. She has a knack for reading the room when performing and she knows exactly what to say.
  2. Hugh Jackman: Hugh Jackman is an ESFJ. He is warm, friendly and he is clearly a family man which is typical of this type.
  3. Sansa Stark: Sansa Stark, an ESFJ, was a naive woman who valued tradition and cared a lot about being liked. As she grew up, she became very good at reading people and used this to her advantage.

Best matches

ESFJ personality type relationships

ESFJs feel most at home when they’re in a fulfilling relationship. They are people-oriented and take commitment seriously. ESFJs appreciate the feelings of security and stability that come with a healthy relationship. Affectionate and loyal, people of the ESFJ personality type are naturals when it comes to relationships.

ESFJs are most compatible with partners who are easy-going and spontaneous to balance out their more structured nature. So which types are the best matches for an ESFJ? ISFPs and ISTPs are the best matches for an ESFJ. You can read our complete guide to ESFJ compatibility to learn more.

Ideal date

Create some magic by putting your culinary skills and tasting techniques to the test at a cookery class. 


ESFJs have a caring presence and people are drawn to their friendly aura.
ESFJs enjoy doing tasks for others so that they have everything they need.
ESFJs are compassionate and they show kindness to people in need.
ESFJs are natural planners and they often have a stack of checklists.


Need for validation
ESFJs can be concerned with social status which can limit them.
ESFJs can be unadaptable due to their strong desire for structure and routine.
Too selfless
Putting everyone else’s needs before their own can be exhausting for ESFJs.
Criticism can make ESFJs defensive, even when it comes from a good place.

The meaning of ESFJ

So what is the meaning of ESFJ? ESFJ is one of the 16 personality types. ESFJ stands for Extroversion, Sensing, Feeling and Judging. Each letter represents certain personality characteristics:

  1. Extroversion means that ESFJs direct their energy to their outer world.
  2. Sensing means that ESFJs focus on tangible and concrete information.
  3. Feeling means that ESFJs primarily make decisions based on people and values.
  4. Judging means that ESFJs prefer to live their lives in a structured and organized way.

At So Syncd, we call ESFJs ‘So Supportive’ because helping others is a core part of their personality. They are also known as The Consul, The Caregiver and The Guardian Provider.

If you want to delve deeper into what it means to be an ESFJ, check out our post about ESFJ cognitive functions.

ESFJ personality characteristics

ESFJs are known for their practicality. They are most interested in topics when they can see real-world applications and they do their best to avoid lengthy discussions about abstract topics. Pragmatic and thoughtful, ESFJs love to be of service and they’ll often take care of loved ones in practical ways.

ESFJs are dutiful individuals who have a strong sense of responsibility and they can’t stand letting people down. Valuing tradition, good manners and following the rules are important to people of the ESFJ personality type. They prioritize work over play but when they do take time out, they know how to let their hair down.

ESFJ values

ESFJs value harmony, which is one of the key characteristics of being an ESFJ. This is because ESFJs are strongly affected by the emotions of those around them and an environment filled with negativity is both exhausting and upsetting for people of the ESFJ personality type.

Living life in an organized manner is important to ESFJs. They are focused on productivity and they aren’t the type to lounge around all day. For this reason, people of the ESFJ personality type often stick to a schedule, which enables them to bring order to their lives, and they love ‘to do’ lists.

The paradox of the ESFJ

ESFJs are selfless but needy. It’s true that they are very much focused on helping and supporting other people. They’ll go out of their way to make sure that the people they care about are happy and content. In a relationship or when they are dating someone special, ESFJs are dedicated and loyal.

On the other hand, ESFJs can be needy. They can have a desire for external validation and approval. As a result, they require a lot of attention at times and can use various methods in an attempt to get reassurance about how much they are appreciated. Sometimes ESFJs are viewed as high maintenance.

Are ESFJs rare?

ESFJs are the 15th rarest personality type. ESFJs make up:
1. 12% of the general population.
2. 17% of the female population.
3. 8% of the male population.

Female ESFJs

Female ESFJs are caring and nurturing. They are one of the most people-oriented personality types and there’s a good chance they’ll know exactly what’s going on with their friends seeing as they usually talk to them on a regular basis. Always keen to help, ESFJs are enthusiastic when it comes to offering advice and supporting those in need.

Male ESFJs

Male ESFJs are genuinely interested in people. They tend to be driven and focused, planning all the details of their future, such as exactly which house they want to live in. Other people see male ESFJs as kind and compassionate. Family is important to male ESFJs, and they will happily plan their lives to fit in with their loved ones.

Find meaningful connections as an ESFJ

If you’re looking for meaningful connections, sign up to So Syncd today to meet your perfect personality match. You can download So Syncd from your iOS or Android app store.

Go to store Get your personality compatibility report