31 Things to Know When Dating an ENFJ

ENFJ Dating blog cover

ENFJs are naturals when it comes to dating. As one of the most social personality types, we know exactly how to put people at ease, and we have a gift for reading people. That being said, we value intense, deep connections, and we can find dates involving lots of small talk exhausting.  

ENFJs are some of the warmest and most generous people you’ll ever meet. We have a strong sense of intuition and often find ourselves hosting parties and other social events.

In this post, we run through 31 things you need to know when dating an ENFJ. If you’re dating an ENFJ or are curious about what makes them tick, read on.

1. We are always looking for ways to improve ourselves.

We have a growth mindset, and we want to be the best possible version of ourselves. Plus, we are natural-born perfectionists, so we’re always striving to achieve our goals, and one way to do this is through self-improvement. ENFJs also believe that personal growth is essential for happiness and fulfillment in life.

2. We have a strong sense of intuition.

ENFJs are very intuitive people. We can usually sense how someone is feeling, even if we’re not saying anything. This is because we are very attuned to the emotions of others. We can also pick up on non-verbal cues and body language, which helps us to understand what someone is thinking or feeling.

3. We are natural communicators.

ENFJs are excellent communicators. We are able to express ourselves clearly and effectively. We also have a knack for understanding the communication style of others, which allows us to adapt our own style to better suit our needs.


4. We are natural leaders.

ENFJs are natural leaders. We are confident and assertive, and we have a strong vision for what we want to achieve. We are also very good at motivating and inspiring others to achieve their goals, and there’s nothing we love more than helping someone reach their potential.

5. We are very compassionate.

ENFJs are very compassionate people. We care deeply about the well-being of others, and we strive to make the world a better place. We also have a strong sense of justice, and we’re always fighting for what’s right. You can always count on an ENFJ to stand up for the underdog.

6. We are great listeners.

ENFJs are great listeners. We are patient and non-judgmental, and we’re always willing to lend a helping hand. Additionally, we enjoy giving advice because we naturally see things from many different perspectives. We also have an innate drive inside ourselves to help people work through their problems.

7. We are very loyal.

Loyalty is a core characteristic of ENFJs, and mutual trust is something that is a non-negotiable for us when it comes to dating and relationships. We are fiercely protective of the people we care about, and we will stand by them through thick and thin. We’re also very honest, and we expect the same from the other people in our lives.

8. We love to solve problems.

ENFJs have a talent for solving problems, particularly issues involving people. We are quick thinkers, and we have a strong interest in social dynamics. In fact, we use our intuition and creativity to come up with innovative solutions to problems.

9. We are very organized.

We like to plan and prepare for everything so that we can be as efficient as possible. We’re also good at keeping track of details, and we’re always on top of things. On the flip side, we’re not always the most spontaneous people because we like the security that comes with having set plans.

10. We can multitask.

ENFJs are great at multitasking. We’re able to juggle multiple tasks and responsibilities at the same time, and we don’t get overwhelmed easily. We’re also good at prioritizing so that we can focus on what’s most important at that moment.

11. We are always looking for ways to help others.

ENFJs are always looking for ways to help others. We feel a strong sense of responsibility for the well-being of others, and we want to make a difference in the world. We are generous with our time and resources because we believe that we should all look out for each other.

12. We are great at building relationships.

ENFJs have an innate ability to understand people and empathize with them. They are able to see the best in others and appreciate them for who they are, which creates a strong foundation for fulfilling relationships. Friends and family are the center of our world, so we naturally prioritize relationships and make time for them. If you’re dating an ENFJ, even if they’re busy, they’ll make time for you.

13. We come across as warm but can take a while to open up.

ENFJs are enthusiastic, and we ask people a lot of questions about themselves because we are genuinely interested in others. This can give the illusion that ENFJs are open, but it can take us a while to share more personal things with people.

14. We know how to make you feel at ease.

ENFJs are incredibly in tune with the emotions of others, and we can pick up on even very small changes in your mood. As a result, we know exactly what to do and say to make you feel comfortable. Reading people is like breathing to us. If you’re nervous or sad, we will do whatever we can to make you feel happy again.


15. We are always looking for new challenges.

ENFJs are always looking for new challenges. We’re never satisfied with the status quo, and we’re always striving for more. We’re comfortable taking risks because we believe that anything is possible.

16. We take our commitments seriously.

ENFJs are the kind of people who stick to their word. Reliability and following through are extremely important to us. If we say we’ll call you at 7 pm, you can be sure that we will call you at 7 pm. Even though we have a lot going on in our lives, we make sure to always honor our commitments.

17. We are always prepared.

ENFJs are always prepared. We like to plan and prepare for everything so that we can be as efficient as possible. We’re also good at thinking on our feet so that we can handle anything that comes our way. When you’re on a date with an ENFJ, there’s a good chance that they’ll have a backup plan just in case things don’t pan out as expected.

18. We can end up forgetting about our own needs.

We are constantly checking in on others, but we often don’t do the same for ourselves. In fact, we can find it difficult to share our opinions and set boundaries when it comes to dating. So, if you’re dating an ENFJ, be sure to check in with them to see how they are feeling.

19. We love to embrace our creativity.

ENFJs are one of the most creative personality types, and we love to spend time developing that part of ourselves. This can manifest in lots of different ways, from playing an instrument to painting landscapes; we feel alive when we are in our creative zone.

20. We see things from multiple perspectives.

Without thinking, we put ourselves in other people’s shoes. It’s second nature to us. We analyze information and situations from multiple angles because we want to have a holistic perspective of the world. Additionally, it helps us better understand people and situations.

21. We’re comfortable taking initiative.

Taking the lead comes naturally to ENFJs. We’re always looking for new opportunities, and our focused nature means that we are happy making decisions. Timelines come naturally to us, so we will make sure that things get done.

22. We love collaborating.

We’re able to work well with others, and we’re always looking for ways to improve, both as individuals and as a team. ENFJs are more capable of compromising than most other personality types. They want everyone to be happy, and they’ll work hard to find win-win solutions.

23. We will be your biggest cheerleader.

We believe that support and understanding can make a huge difference in people’s lives. If you share your goals with us, we will do everything we can to help you achieve them. We will support you both emotionally and practically. If you’re dating an ENFJ, you can always count on us to lend a helping hand.

24. We sometimes shy away from conflict.

Arguments and disagreements make us uncomfortable because we hate seeing people hurt or upset. In general, we are happiest when those around us are content. That being said, we are highly aware that conflict is sometimes necessary in order to resolve a situation. In these cases, we try to take a compassionate approach, and we will do our best to find a middle ground.

25. We have high standards in all areas of our lives.

ENFJs have a unique mix of realism and idealism. We believe that everyone has the potential to be great, and we expect nothing less than the best from ourselves and others. This applies to our dating lives, too, and we won’t settle for anything less than a truly meaningful connection. 

26. We’re some of the most determined people out there.

ENFJs are go-getters who take great joy in achieving their goals. We’re never satisfied with the status quo, and we’re always striving for more. Additionally, we have a tendency to set clear, tangible milestones so that we can measure our progress.

27. We’re great at self-motivation.

We’re able to motivate ourselves to do what’s necessary, and we’re about as far away from complacent as you can get. If we know we have to get up at 5 am to achieve a certain goal, that’s exactly what we’ll do.

28. We’ll never stop trying to understand you.

We want you to feel understood and accepted in a profound way. When we like you, we’ll want to know everything about you. We are curious individuals who love to learn about all kinds of things, and they like to delve deeper into the minds of those they care about.

29. We like to feel appreciated.

We love it when you notice the little things we do for you (no, really, we love it). ENFJs spend a lot of time giving to others, and when you let us know that you appreciate our time and effort, it makes our day. Ultimately, we need to know that we are having a positive impact on our partner’s life, and appreciation lets us know that this is the case.

30. We want to feel understood.

This is because we crave connection and intimacy. We want someone who’s willing to really see us for who we are and accept us in a very real way. Additionally, we want someone who’s open-minded and willing to explore new ideas with us.

31. We take relationships seriously.

Our whole life revolves around connections with people, and relationships are our number one priority. If we like you, we’ll make time for you. Plus, we’re not ones to jump ship when the going gets tough. We understand that relationships have ups and downs, and once we have committed to you, we’ll put in the time and effort to work through any issues that arise.

Share this post to help other people understand ENFJ dating

We hope this provides insight into what makes ENFJs tick and helps make your relationship a little smoother. Remember, we’re all unique individuals, so not everything on this list will apply to every ENFJ. But it should give you a good starting point.

If you haven’t already, be sure to check out our other post on ENFJ compatibility. Or perhaps you’re an ENFJ, and you’d like your partner to understand you on a deeper level? Share this post with them and see what they think.

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