ENFJ and ESTJ Relationship Compatibility

ENFJ and ESTJ Compatibility blog cover

Are ENFJ and ESTJ personality types compatible? You can find out with our ultimate guide to ENFJ and ESTJ compatibility.

Our guide will help you understand how these personality types communicate, connect, resolve conflict, and interact on a daily basis. We will also explain the type of compatibility that is seen between people of these personality types.

If you’d like to discover your own personality type, you can take our free personality test.

Introduction to ENFJ and ESTJ compatibility

ENFJ compatibility, relationships and love: ENFJ and INTP smiling

There are differences between people of the ENFJ and ESTJ personality types, which can be a great source of personal growth.

But these differences require a mutual understanding of one another in order for an ENFJ and ESTJ relationship to work. 

These personality types are drawn to each other for different reasons. ENFJs admire the reliability, confidence, and decisiveness of ESTJs, while ESTJs are attracted to the creativity, kindness, and charisma of ENFJs.

For a variety of reasons that we’ll touch on in this guide, ENFJs and ESTJs have a unique connection.

ENFJ and ESTJ relationships

ENFJs and ESTJs approach relationships in different ways, and it’s important to be aware of this from the very beginning.  

ENFJs primarily look for authentic, emotional connections. As a result, they have a need to get to know people on a deep level. They enjoy figuring out ESTJs and their approach to life.

One of the topics that fascinate ENFJs most is human psychology, and they are good at reading people. ESTJs find this emotional intelligence attractive.

ESTJs look for someone who sticks to their word. They are rational and pragmatic personality types who approach life from a logical perspective.

ESTJs appreciate partners who can help them get in touch with their feelings because this isn’t something that comes naturally to people of the ESTJ personality type.

ENFJs can benefit from the ESTJ’s more pragmatic attitude, particularly when it comes to everyday life and big decisions. ESTJs are often attracted to the ENFJ’s creativity and ability to think outside the box. 

Due to the different lenses through which these two types view relationships, it will usually require conscious effort from both sides in order for both people to understand each other compared to some other personality type pairings.

Feeling understood by your partner is essential for a healthy, fulfilling relationship. If either or both personality types aren’t willing to put in the work, it’s likely that there will be misunderstandings and miscommunications.

ENFJs and ESTJs are very different personality types, and this kind of relationship is often one that requires effort. However, the benefits can be incredible if both people are willing to put the work in. This kind of relationship will encourage significant personal growth when it’s approached in the right way.

ENFJs and ESTJs have very different energies. ENFJs have a calm aura, while ESTJs come across as more dynamic. These energies balance each other out and contribute to the attraction between these two personality types, particularly in the early days of the relationship. 

Key positives

  1. ENFJs and ESTJs can have a lot of great experiences as a pair. They enjoy doing activities together and going to events.  
  2. ENFJs inspire ESTJs to dream big while ESTJs help ENFJs with everyday practicalities.
  3. ENFJs help ESTJs embrace their feelings, while ESTJs encourage ENFJs to think about things more rationally.
  4. ENFJs and ESTJs share a love for organization and structure, preferring to plan in advance.  

Potential challenges

  1. ENFJs and ESTJs can be too focused on the external world, and they can end up not taking time to self-reflect.
  2. ENFJs and ESTJs aren’t always on the same wavelength, and this can make it challenging to communicate in certain situations.
  3. ENFJs place an emphasis on how decisions impact people, while ESTJs take a more analytical approach, which can cause tension.
  4. ENFJs and ESTJs can end up planning everything in advance and forgetting to be spontaneous.

ENFJ and ESTJ compatibility style

ENFJs and ESTJs have a challenging compatibility style, which is a unique type of compatibility. They aren’t the most natural fit for a relationship, but it can be exciting and rewarding if they are mindful of how they approach it.

ENFJs and ESTJs won’t always see eye-to-eye because they view the world through different lenses. In fact, they will sometimes struggle to understand each other.

However, if they are both self-aware and dedicated to making the relationship work, they can overcome these challenges.

They have certain similarities which they can focus on in order to strengthen your bond. It’s likely that they will also share some core values.

It’s important for ENFJs and ESTJs to appreciate each other’s differences and acknowledge that they will have obstacles to overcome.

With this type of compatibility, it comes down to whether both people are willing to put in the time and effort to understand each other. If you are, you’ll have a very special connection.

ENFJ and ESTJ communication

Communication is important in any relationship because it allows people to share their emotions, opinions, and expectations.

At the end of the day, effective communication can help both people feel valued, respected, and heard. It also reduces the risk of misunderstandings, which are often the cause of arguments in relationships.

ENFJs tend to place more emphasis on feelings when communicating, while ESTJs focus more on logic. ESTJs can be direct in the way they communicate, which can upset ENFJs and cause friction in the relationship. In order to avoid this, ESTJs should make it clear that they respect the ENFJ’s feelings.

ENFJs are private individuals, but when they do express themselves, they sometimes do so in an emotional manner, which can be confusing for ESTJs. It helps if ENFJs avoid overly emotional language and outbursts when they are in relationships with ESTJs, particularly during serious conversations.

ENFJs and ESTJs are usually comfortable sharing their thoughts with each other. They are quick at thinking on the spot and will often respond in the moment. Both types have a tendency to think out loud and sometimes say things without having fully formed an opinion.

ENFJs and ESTJs are talkative individuals who bounce off each other. However, it’s important for both people to remember to listen to each other as well as talk because there is a risk that they can end up talking over each other.

ENFJ and ESTJ connection

A shared connection is essential for any healthy relationship, and one of the best ways to build a bond is to talk about interests and passions.

Seeing someone talk about something they are passionate about is deeply attractive.

ENFJs are more abstract in the way that they approach life, while ESTJs are more pragmatic. This can cause challenges in the way they connect.

ENFJs tend to prefer to connect over conversations about theories and ideas. ESTJs build connections by talking about more practical matters. This disconnect can make it harder for this personality pairing to build a deep connection instantly. It’s definitely possible, but it can take a little longer.

Part of building a strong connection involves respecting each other’s personalities and choices. Even if these types don’t see eye-to-eye on everything, if they work together and communicate, they will be able to see where each other is coming from. 

Connection is one of the most important pieces of the compatibility jigsaw puzzle, and it takes a little more effort for ENFJ and ESTJ couples because they aren’t always on the same wavelength.

ENFJ and ESTJ conflict resolution

Conflict resolution can make or break a relationship, and it takes a conscious effort to get it right. In the heat of an argument, it can be easy to forget your partner’s needs and preferences, but this is the time when it’s most important to put yourself in their shoes. 

When it comes to conflict, ENFJs and ESTJs often prefer to resolve the situation there and then by talking things through. This can be beneficial for resolving issues as both types prefer to move at the same pace.  

ENFJs value harmony in their relationships, and it can take them longer to bring up issues than ESTJs, who are more direct.

ESTJs should make an effort to listen and empathize as well as troubleshoot the problem, while ENFJs should consider practical solutions rather than just focusing on emotions. 

ESTJs are naturals at resolving conflict in the workplace, but navigating conflict in relationships can be more challenging for this type, especially if there are strong emotions involved.

As empathetic people, ENFJs will try to ensure that they approach difficult situations tactfully, but ESTJs prefer to be more candid. ENFJs should be mindful that ESTJs often don’t mean to upset them; it’s just that they prefer to say it as it is.

Being able to forgive your partner if they inadvertently hurt your feelings is key. That isn’t to say that you should be a pushover, though. If your partner does upset you, you should let them know so you can work it out for the future.

ENFJ and ESTJ daily life

Bigger topics like communication, connection, and resolving conflict are all important for a healthy relationship. But everyday life is equally important.

Little things add up to become big things, and it’s important to appreciate how your partner approaches life on a daily basis.

Both ENFJs and ESTJs are drawn to structure and routine in their everyday life. This can make for a harmonious day-to-day lifestyle in some ways, but it can present challenges, too.  

Seeing as both types value orderly surroundings, they usually make an effort to keep things clean and tidy. As two of the most organized personality types, ENFJs and ESTJs often like to plan far in advance, and they’ll likely book things like weekend trips together ahead of time.

Embracing spontaneity can be a challenge for an ENFJ and ESTJ couple. They can be so set on their current plans that they end up being closed to spur-of-the-moment opportunities that arise. In addition, these types aren’t always the most laidback, which can make for some tense moments. 

When it comes to everyday behaviors, both people need to be self-aware and make sure that they find that balance between staying true to themselves and appreciating their partner’s needs.

Summary of ENFJ and ESTJ compatibility

In short, an ENFJ and ESTJ relationship has incredible potential. When couples of this type are in a relationship, they will go above and beyond to understand and accept each other completely.

It’s worth noting that these personality types have more in common than you’d expect at first glance.

No relationship is smooth all of the time, but if you communicate clearly, trust each other, and show mutual respect, you’ll have the perfect recipe for building a beautiful connection.

Challenging compatibility requires both parties to be self-aware and understanding of each other to make it work.

Looking to learn more about personality type compatibility? You can read our individual guides about ENFJ compatibility and ESTJ compatibility.

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