Our guide will help you understand how these personality types communicate, connect, resolve conflict, and interact on a daily basis. We will also explain the type of compatibility that is seen between people of these personality types.
If you’d like to discover your own personality type, you can take our free personality test.
Introduction to INFJ and ESFJ compatibility
There are differences between people of the INFJ and ESFJ personality types which can be a great source of personal growth.
But these differences require a mutual understanding of one another in order for an INFJ and ESFJ relationship to work.
These personality types are drawn to each other for different reasons. INFJs admire the kindness, reliability, and sociable nature of ESFJs, while ESFJs are attracted to the creativity, complexity, and depth of INFJs.
For a variety of reasons that we’ll touch on in this guide, INFJs and ESFJs have a unique connection.
INFJ and ESFJ relationships
INFJs and ESFJs have some similarities and some differences in the way they approach relationships. Both types are deeply interested in people and human psychology. As a result, they prioritize relationships.
INFJs and ESFJs are in touch with their emotions, and they tend to be thoughtful, kind, and appreciative of their partners.
Deep connections and the ability to build emotional intimacy are important for INFJs and ESFJs when developing a bond. However, it can take time for people of both personality types to open up and share the more private side of themselves with their partners.
ESFJs approach relationships from a more practical angle than INFJs. The details about how the relationship will progress in the future are a consideration for ESFJs, whereas INFJs focus on the big picture.
Feeling understood by their partner is essential for both INFJs and ESFJs. Both types will put the time in to get to know each other on a deeper level, and when they like someone, they naturally ask questions to discover the depths of their partner’s personality.
INFJs can benefit from the ESFJ’s more pragmatic attitude, particularly when it comes to everyday life and big decisions. ESFJs are often attracted to the INFJ’s creativity and ability to think outside the box.
INFJs and ESFJs are two of the most caring personality types. They tend to be highly aware of each other’s needs in a relationship and in tune with each other’s feelings. Both of these types typically have a high emotional intelligence, which can be hugely beneficial in relationships.
Both types value harmony, but this can sometimes result in issues being swept under the carpet. People in this personality type pairing should make a conscious effort to resolve issues as quickly as possible before they escalate.
INFJs and ESFJs have very different energies. INFJs have a calm aura, while ESFJs come across as more dynamic. These energies balance each other out and contribute to the attraction between these two personality types, particularly in the early days of the relationship.
- INFJs encourage ESFJs to take time to introspect, while ESFJs inspire INFJs to step outside their comfort zone.
- INFJs inspire ESFJs to dream big while ESFJs help INFJs with everyday practicalities.
- INFJs and ESFJs are both caring, thoughtful people who prioritize relationships.
- INFJs and ESFJs share a love for organization and structure, preferring to plan in advance.
- INFJs and ESFJs can end up alienating themselves if they get too comfortable in their introvert bubble.
- INFJs and ESFJs aren’t always on the same wavelength, and this can make it challenging to communicate in certain situations.
- INFJs and ESFJs can end up focusing too much on the people aspect of a situation instead of looking at it objectively.
- INFJs and ESFJs can end up planning everything in advance and forgetting to be spontaneous.
INFJ and ESFJ compatibility style
INFJs and ESFJs have a growth compatibility style which is an interesting kind of connection. They have a huge amount to learn from one another, and their strengths and weaknesses are complementary in a lot of ways.
INFJs and ESFJs won’t always be on the same wavelength, and this can bring challenges on a day-to-day basis. To make this relationship work, they will need to make a conscious effort to understand the way each other thinks.
The personality differences are not only a source of friction, though. They can create attraction, and it’s likely that they will deeply admire certain aspects of each other’s personalities.
This kind of connection requires both parties to be self-aware in order to have a fulfilling relationship. Honest communication is important in bonds of this kind, and it can be an incredible source of personal growth.
If either one isn’t prepared to make an effort to overcome the hurdles, this relationship could be challenging.
Ultimately, your fate is in your hands. When you find this type of connection, it has the potential to be amazing if you approach it in the right way.
INFJ and ESFJ communication
Communication is important in any relationship because it allows people to share their emotions, opinions, and expectations.
At the end of the day, effective communication can help both people feel valued, respected, and heard. It also reduces the risk of misunderstandings, which are often the cause of arguments in relationships.
INFJs and ESFJs have an understanding and supportive communication style. During conversations, they will tend to focus on people’s emotions and offer reassurance. INFJs and ESFJs can sometimes end up avoiding certain issues if they think they might create conflict.
INFJs and ESFJs are often good at respecting and accepting each other’s feelings. Plus, they are good listeners. With their cooperative manners and their need for emotional intimacy, INFJs and ESFJs will embrace sharing their feelings when the time is right.
INFJs usually keep their thoughts to themselves, while ESFJs usually think out loud. ESFJs will naturally do more of the talking in the relationship, particularly when socializing with groups of friends.
INFJs should appreciate that talking through issues can help ESFJs clarify their thoughts. Equally, it’s key for ESFJs to understand that INFJs prefer quiet environments to think. INFJs might need to take time to process their thoughts rather than respond in the moment.
INFJ and ESFJ connection
A shared connection is essential for any healthy relationship, and one of the best ways to build a bond is to talk about interests and passions.
Seeing someone talk about something they are passionate about is deeply attractive.
INFJs are more abstract in the way that they approach life, while ESFJs are more pragmatic. This can cause challenges in the way they connect.
INFJs tend to prefer to connect over conversations about theories and ideas. ESFJs build connections by talking about more practical matters.
This disconnect can make it harder for this personality pairing to build a deep connection instantly. It’s definitely possible, but it can take a little longer.
Part of building a strong connection involves respecting each other’s personalities and choices. Even if these types don’t see eye-to-eye on everything, if they work together and communicate, they will be able to see where each other is coming from.
Connection is one of the most important pieces of the compatibility jigsaw puzzle, and it takes a little more effort for INFJ and ESFJ couples because they aren’t always on the same wavelength.
INFJ and ESFJ conflict resolution
Conflict resolution can make or break a relationship, and it takes a conscious effort to get it right. In the heat of an argument, it can be easy to forget your partner’s needs and preferences, but this is the time when it’s most important to put yourself in their shoes.
When it comes to conflict, INFJs often prefer to take time to process the situation, while ESFJs are more likely to want to discuss the issues there and then. You will need to compromise at times like this and find a pace that works for both of you.
INFJs and ESFJs value harmony in relationships. As empathetic people, both types will do their best to ensure that difficult conversations are broached tactfully. However, it can take them longer to bring up issues than some other personality type pairings because of their desire for peace.
INFJs and ESFJs should be mindful to actually work through the conflict rather than just talk about their feelings, even if that means agreeing to disagree. It’s not necessary to be aligned with your partner on everything.
Both types naturally put themselves in other people’s shoes, and this can help resolve matters as long as neither the INFJ nor ESFJ is too emotional. This can happen because both types feel things deeply, and if it does, you should take time out and wait for things to settle.
Being able to forgive your partner if they inadvertently hurt your feelings is key. That isn’t to say that you should be a pushover, though. If your partner does upset you, you should let them know so you can work it out for the future.
INFJ and ESFJ daily life
Bigger topics like communication, connection, and resolving conflict are all important for a healthy relationship. But everyday life is equally important.
Little things add up to become big things, and it’s important to appreciate how your partner approaches life on a daily basis.
Both ISFJs and INFJs are drawn to structure and routine in their everyday life. This can make for a harmonious day-to-day lifestyle in some ways, but it can present challenges, too.
Seeing as both types value orderly surroundings, they usually make an effort to keep things clean and tidy. As two of the most organized personality types, ISFJs and INFJs often like to plan far in advance, and they’ll likely book things like weekend trips together ahead of time.
Embracing spontaneity can be a challenge for an ISFJ and INFJ couple. They can be so set on their current plans that they end up being closed to spur-of-the-moment opportunities that arise. In addition, these types aren’t always the most laidback, which can make for some tense moments.
When it comes to everyday behaviors, both people need to be self-aware and make sure that they find that balance between staying true to themselves and appreciating their partner’s needs.
Summary of INFJ and ESFJ compatibility
In short, an INFJ and ESFJ relationship has incredible potential. When couples of this type are in a relationship, they will go above and beyond to understand and accept each other completely.
It’s worth noting that these personality types have more in common than you’d expect at first glance.
No relationship is smooth all of the time, but if you communicate clearly, trust each other, and show mutual respect, you’ll have the perfect recipe for building a beautiful connection.
Growth compatibility offers the opportunity to learn a lot from each other’s strengths and weaknesses.