Our guide will help you understand how these personality types communicate, connect, resolve conflict, and interact on a daily basis. We will also explain the type of compatibility that is seen between people of these personality types.
If you’d like to discover your own personality type, you can take our free personality test.
Introduction to ESFJ and ESTJ compatibility
There are differences between people of the ESFJ and ESTJ personality types which can be a great source of personal growth.
But these differences require a mutual understanding of one another in order for an ESFJ and ESTJ relationship to work.
These personality types are drawn to each other for different reasons. ESFJs admire the dedicated, ambitious, and reliable nature of ESTJs while ESTJs are attracted to the loyal, sociable, and nurturing nature of ESFJs.
For various reasons that we’ll touch on in this guide, ESFJs and ESTJs have a unique connection.
ESFJ and ESTJ relationships
ESFJs and ESTJs approach relationships in different ways, and it’s important to be aware of this from the very beginning.
ESFJs primarily look for authentic, emotional connections. As a result, they have a need to get to feel deeply connected to their partner, and they enjoy figuring out ESTJs.
ESFJs have a natural talent for reading people and noticing subtle changes in body language. ESTJs find this emotional intelligence attractive.
ESTJs primarily look for mental stimulation. As one of the most logical personality types, they look for partners who open their minds to new ideas. ESTJs are practical, and they are able to live in the moment more than some other personalities.
In addition, ESTJs appreciate partners who can help them get in touch with their feelings because this doesn’t come naturally to people of this personality type.
Both ESFJs and ESTJs are practical, and this down-to-earth approach can be hugely beneficial when they are in a relationship together. Even though these types are different in a lot of ways, they tend to be on the same wavelength and understand each other.
ESFJs see ESTJs for who they really are. ESTJs aren’t typically seen as warm people, but they tend to be extremely helpful, generous, and supportive. As one of the personality types who are most interested in people, ESFJs look deeper and notice traits about ESTJs that other people don’t see.
It works the other way too. When an ESTJ takes the time to really get to know an ESFJ, they realize that they are highly practical. Unfortunately, ESFJs can be underestimated due to their caring nature, but they are some of the most resourceful people out there.
ESFJs and ESTJs both have a dynamic, go-getting energy. As extroverts, they understand each other’s need for social interaction, and when these personality types are in a relationship, they often enjoy doing activities and going to events together.
- ESFJs and ESTJs can have a lot of great experiences as a pair, such as traveling and going to events.
- ESFJs and ESTJs take a practical approach to life, and they tend to be on the same wavelength.
- ESFJs help ESTJs embrace their feelings while ESTJs encourage ESFJs to think about things more rationally.
- ESFJs and ESTJs share a love for organization and structure, preferring to plan ahead.
- ESFJs and ESTJs can be too focused on the external world, and they can end up not taking time to self-reflect.
- ESFJs and ESTJs can get caught up in the details and forget to think about the big picture.
- ESFJs focus on how decisions impact people, while ESTJs take a more analytical approach which can cause tension.
- ESFJs and ESTJs can plan everything in advance and forget to be spontaneous.
ESFJ and ESTJ compatibility style
ESFJs and ESTJs have an intriguing compatibility style which is a complex type of compatibility. They are likely drawn to each other for a couple of reasons.
The mutual attraction with this kind of compatibility often results from a deep respect for one another. They can learn a lot from each other.
However, there are certain challenges that will likely arise. The way this relationship plays out depends on how they react to these situations.
If they communicate openly, make an effort to try new experiences together, and take the time to understand each other, they have the potential for a deeply fulfilling and meaningful relationship.
ESFJs and ESTJs will often feel a sense of safety when they are in this kind of relationship, and they have a unique ability to take care of each other.
This type of connection has the potential to be incredible if you recognize and appreciate how each other’s minds work.
ESFJ and ESTJ communication
Communication is important in any relationship because it allows people to share their emotions, opinions, and expectations.
At the end of the day, effective communication can help both people feel valued, respected, and heard. It also reduces the risk of misunderstandings which are often the cause of arguments in relationships.
ESFJs tend to place more emphasis on feelings when communicating, while ESTJs focus more on logic. ESTJs can be direct in the way they communicate, which can upset ESFJs and cause friction in the relationship. In order to avoid this, ESTJs should make it clear that they respect the ESFJ’s feelings.
ESFJs can be private, but when they do express themselves, they sometimes do so in an emotional manner which can be confusing for ESTJs. It helps if ESFJs avoid overly emotional language and outbursts when they are in relationships with ESTJs, particularly during serious conversations.
ESFJs and ESTJs are usually comfortable sharing their thoughts with each other. They are quick at thinking on the spot and will often respond in the moment. Both types have a tendency to think out loud and sometimes say things without having fully formed an opinion.
ESFJs and ESTJs are talkative individuals who bounce off each other. However, it’s important for both people to remember to listen to each other as well as talk because there is a risk that they can end up talking over each other.
ESFJ and ESTJ connection
A shared connection is essential for any healthy relationship, and one of the best ways to build a bond is to talk about interests and passions.
Seeing someone talk about something they are passionate about is deeply attractive.
ESFJs and ESTJs are down-to-earth and pragmatic. They enjoy talking about everyday details and real-life experiences. As two of the most practical personality types, they love sharing advice that is useful to their partner.
ESFJ and ESTJ personality types value tangible experiences, and they appreciate the way each other thinks. People of these personality types enjoy each other’s company which is important for building a long-lasting connection.
Part of building a strong connection involves respecting each other’s personalities and choices. Even if these types don’t see eye-to-eye on everything, their strong bond means that they can usually see where one another is coming from.
Connection is one of the most important pieces of the compatibility jigsaw puzzle and it comes naturally to ESFJ and ESTJ couples seeing as these personality types tend to be on the same wavelength.
ESFJ and ESTJ conflict resolution
Conflict resolution can make or break a relationship and it takes a conscious effort to get it right.
In the heat of an argument, it can be easy to forget your partner’s needs and preferences but this is the time when it’s most important to put yourself in their shoes.
When it comes to conflict, ESFJs and ESTJs often prefer to resolve the situation there and then by talking things through. This can be beneficial for sorting out issues as both types prefer to move at the same pace.
ESFJs value harmony in their relationships, and it can take them longer to bring up issues than ESTJs, who are more direct.
ESTJs should make an effort to listen and empathize as well as troubleshoot the problem, while ESFJs should consider practical solutions rather than just focusing on emotions.
ESTJs are naturals at resolving conflict in the workplace but navigating conflict in relationships can be more challenging for this type, especially if there are strong emotions involved.
As empathetic people, ESFJs will try to ensure that they approach difficult situations tactfully, but ESTJs can prefer to be more candid. ESFJs should be mindful that ESTJs often don’t mean to upset them; it’s just that they prefer to say it as it is.
Being able to forgive your partner if they inadvertently hurt your feelings is key. That isn’t to say that you should be a pushover, though. If your partner does upset you, you should let them know so you can work it out for the future.
ESFJ and ESTJ daily life
Bigger topics like communication, connection, and resolving conflict are all important for a healthy relationship. But everyday life is equally important.
Little things add up to become big things, and it’s important to appreciate how your partner approaches life on a daily basis.
Both ESFJs and ESTJs are drawn to structure and routine in their everyday life. This can make for a harmonious day-to-day lifestyle in some ways but also presents challenges.
Seeing as both types value orderly surroundings, they usually make an effort to keep things clean and tidy. As two of the most organized personality types, ESFJs and ESTJs often like to plan far in advance, and they’ll likely book things like weekend trips together ahead of time.
Embracing spontaneity can be a challenge for an ESFJ and ESTJ couple. They can be so set on their current plans that they end up being closed to spur-of-the-moment opportunities that arise. In addition, these types aren’t always the most laidback, which can make for some tense moments.
When it comes to everyday behaviors, both people need to be self-aware and make sure that they find that balance between staying true to themselves and appreciating their partner’s needs.
Summary of ESFJ and ESTJ compatibility
In short, an ESFJ and ESTJ relationship has incredible potential. When couples of this type are in a relationship, they will go above and beyond to understand and accept each other completely.
It’s worth noting that these personality types have more in common than you’d expect at first glance.
No relationship is smooth all of the time, but if you communicate clearly, trust each other, and show mutual respect, you’ll have the perfect recipe for building a beautiful connection.
Intriguing compatibility is based on having a deep respect for each other, and relationships of this kind often provide a sense of safety.