INFJ and ESTJ Relationship Compatibility

INFJ and ESTJ compatibility

Are INFJ and ESTJ personality types compatible? You can find out with our ultimate guide to INFJ and ESTJ compatibility.

Our guide will help you understand how these personality types communicate, connect, resolve conflict and interact on a daily basis. We will also explain the type of compatibility that is seen between people of these personality types.

If you’d like to discover your own personality type, you can take our free personality test.

Introduction to INFJ and ESTJ compatibility

There are differences between people of the INFJ and ESTJ personality types which can be a great source of personal growth.

But these differences require a mutual understanding of one another in order for an INFJ and ESTJ relationship to work. 

These personality types are drawn to each other for different reasons. INFJs admire the reliability, confidence, and decisiveness of ESTJs while ESTJs are attracted to the creativity, kindness, and depth of INFJs.

For a variety of reasons that we’ll touch on in this guide, INFJs and ESTJs have a unique connection.

INFJ and ESTJ relationships

INFJs and ESTJs approach relationships in different ways and it’s important to be aware of this from the very beginning.  

INFJs primarily look for authentic, emotional connections. As a result, they have a need to get to know people on a deep level. They enjoy figuring out ESTJs and their approach to life.

One of the topics that fascinate INFJs most is human psychology and they are good at reading people. ESTJs find this emotional intelligence attractive.

ESTJs look for someone who sticks to their word. They are rational and pragmatic personality types who approach life from a logical perspective.

ESTJs appreciate partners who can help them get in touch with their feelings because this isn’t something that comes naturally to people of the ESTJ personality type.

INFJs can benefit from the ESTJ’s more pragmatic attitude, particularly when it comes to everyday life and big decisions. ESTJs are often attracted to the INFJ’s creativity and ability to think outside the box. 

Due to the different lenses that these two types view relationships, it will usually require conscious effort from both sides in order for both people to understand each other compared to some other personality type pairings.

Feeling understood by your partner is essential for a healthy, fulfilling relationship. If either or both personality types aren’t willing to put in the work, it’s likely that there will be misunderstandings and miscommunications.

INFJs and ESTJs are very different personality types and this kind of relationship is often one that requires effort. However, the benefits can be incredible if both people are willing to put the work in. This kind of relationship will encourage significant personal growth when it’s approached in the right way.

INFJs and ESTJs have very different energies. INFJs have a calm aura while ESTJs come across as more dynamic. These energies balance each other out and contribute to the attraction between these two personality types, particularly in the early days of the relationship. 

Key positives

  1. INFJs encourage ESTJs to take time to introspect while ESTJs inspire INFJs to step outside their comfort zone.
  2. INFJs inspire ESTJs to dream big while ESTJs help INFJs with everyday practicalities.
  3. INFJs help ESTJs embrace their feelings while ESTJs encourage INFJs to think about things more rationally.
  4. INFJs and ESTJs share a love for organization and structure, preferring to plan in advance.  

Potential challenges

  1. INFJs need a lot of alone time while ESTJs prefer to spend more time socializing.
  2. INFJs and ESTJs aren’t always on the same wavelength and this can make it challenging to communicate in certain situations.
  3. INFJs place an emphasis on how decisions impact people while ESTJs take a more analytical approach which can cause tension.
  4. INFJs and ESTJs can end up planning everything in advance and forgetting to be spontaneous.

INFJ and ESTJ compatibility style

INFJs and ESTJs have a growth compatibility style which is an interesting kind of connection. They have a huge amount to learn from one another and their strengths and weaknesses are complementary in a lot of ways.

INFJs and ESTJs won’t always be on the same wavelength and this can bring challenges on a day-to-day basis. To make this relationship work, they will need to make a conscious effort to understand the way each other think.

The personality differences are not only a source of friction though. They can create attraction and it’s likely that they will deeply admire certain aspects of each other’s personalities. 

This kind of connection requires both parties to be self-aware in order to have a fulfilling relationship. Honest communication is important in bonds of this kind and it can be an incredible source of personal growth.

If either one isn’t prepared to make an effort to overcome the hurdles, this relationship could be challenging.

Ultimately, your fate is in your hands. When you find this type of connection, it has the potential to be amazing if you approach it in the right way. 

INFJ and ESTJ communication

Communication is important in any relationship because it allows people to share their emotions, opinions, and expectations.

At the end of the day, effective communication can help both people feel valued, respected, and heard. It also reduces the risk of misunderstandings which are often the cause of arguments in relationships.

INFJs tend to place more emphasis on feelings when communicating while ESTJs focus more on logic. ESTJs can be direct in the way they communicate which can upset INFJs and cause friction in the relationship. In order to avoid this, ESTJs should make it clear that they respect the INFJ’s feelings.

INFJs are private individuals but when they do express themselves, they sometimes do so in an emotional manner which can be confusing for ESTJs. It helps if INFJs avoid overly emotional language and outbursts when they are in relationships with ESTJs, particularly during serious conversations.

INFJs tend to keep their thoughts to themselves while ESTJs usually think out loud. ESTJs will naturally do more of the talking in the relationship, particularly when socializing with groups of friends.

INFJs should appreciate that talking through issues can help ESTJs clarify their thoughts. Equally, it’s key for ESTJs to understand that INFJs prefer quiet environments to think. INFJs might need to take time to process their thoughts rather than respond in the moment. 

INFJ and ESTJ connection

A shared connection is essential for any healthy relationship and one of the best ways to build a bond is to talk about interests and passions.

Seeing someone talk about something they are passionate about is deeply attractive.

INFJs are more abstract in the way that they approach life while ESTJs are more pragmatic. This can cause challenges in the way they connect.

INFJs tend to prefer to connect over conversations about theories and ideas. ESTJs build connections by talking about more practical matters. This disconnect can make It harder for this personality pairing to instantly build a deep connection. It’s definitely possible but it can take a little longer.

Part of building a strong connection involves respecting each other’s personalities and choices. Even if these types don’t see eye-to-eye on everything, if they work together and communicate, they will be able to see where each other is coming from. 

Connection is one of the most important pieces of the compatibility jigsaw puzzle and it takes a little more effort for INFJ and ESTJ couples because they aren’t always on the same wavelength.

INFJ and ESTJ conflict resolution

Conflict resolution can make or break a relationship and it takes a conscious effort to get it right.

In the heat of an argument, it can be easy to forget your partner’s needs and preferences but this is the time when it’s most important to put yourself in their shoes. 

When it comes to conflict, INFJs often prefer to take time to process the situation while ESTJs are more likely to want to discuss the issues there and then. You will need to compromise at times like this and find a pace that works for both of you.

INFJs value harmony in their relationships and it can take them longer to bring up issues than ESTJs who are more direct.

ESTJs should make an effort to listen and empathize as well as troubleshoot the problem while INFJs should consider practical solutions rather than just focusing on emotions. 

ESTJs are naturals at resolving conflict in the workplace but navigating conflict in relationships can be more challenging for this type, especially if there are strong emotions involved.

As empathetic people, INFJs will try to ensure that they approach difficult situations tactfully but ESTJs can prefer to be more candid. INFJs should be mindful that ESTJs often don’t mean to upset them, it’s just that they prefer to say it as it is.

Being able to forgive your partner if they inadvertently hurt your feelings is key. That isn’t to say that you should be a pushover though. If your partner does upset you, you should let them know so you can work it out for the future.

INFJ and ESTJ daily life

Bigger topics like communication, connection, and resolving conflict are all important for a healthy relationship. But everyday life is equally important.

Little things add up to become big things and it’s important to appreciate how your partner approaches life on a daily basis.

Both INFJs and ESTJs are drawn to structure and routine in their everyday life. This can make for a harmonious day-to-day lifestyle in some ways but it can present challenges too.  

Seeing as both types value orderly surroundings, they usually make an effort to keep things clean and tidy. As two of the most organized personality types, INFJs and ESTJs often like to plan far in advance and they’ll likely book things like weekend trips together ahead of time.

Embracing spontaneity can be a challenge for an INFJ and ESTJ couple. They can be so set on their current plans that they end up being closed to spur-of-the-moment opportunities that arise. In addition, these types aren’t always the most laidback which can make for some tense moments. 

When it comes to everyday behaviors, both people need to be self-aware and make sure that they find that balance of staying true to themselves and appreciating their partner’s needs.

Summary of INFJ and ESTJ compatibility

In short, an INFJ and ESTJ relationship has incredible potential. When couples of this type are in a relationship, they will go above and beyond to understand and accept each other completely.

It’s worth noting that these personality types have more in common than you’d expect at first glance.

No relationship is smooth all of the time but if you communicate clearly, trust each other, and show mutual respect, you’ll have the perfect recipe for building a beautiful connection.

Growth compatibility offers the opportunity to learn a lot from each other’s strengths and weaknesses.

Looking to learn more about personality type compatibility? You can read our individual guides about INFJ compatibility and ESTJ compatibility.

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