Our guide will help you understand how these personality types communicate, connect, resolve conflict and interact on a daily basis. We will also explain the type of compatibility that is seen between people of these personality types.
If you’d like to discover your own personality type, you can take our free personality test.
Introduction of INFJ and INTJ compatibility
There are differences between people of the INFJ and INTJ personality types which can be a great source of personal growth.
But these differences require a mutual understanding of one another in order for an INFJ and INTJ relationship to work.
These personality types are drawn to each other for different reasons. INTJs admire the kindness, depth, and quiet determination of INFJs while INFJs are attracted to the ambition, intelligence, and strategic nature of INTJs.
For a variety of reasons that we’ll touch on in this guide, INFJs and INTJs have a unique connection.
INFJ and INTJ relationships
INFJs and INTJs approach relationships in different ways and it’s important to be aware of this from the very beginning.
INFJs primarily look for authentic, emotional connections. As a result, they have a need to get to know people on a deep level and they enjoy figuring out INTJs.
One of the topics that fascinate INFJs most is human psychology and they are good at reading people. INTJs find this emotional intelligence attractive.
INTJs primarily look for intellectual stimulation. As one of the most cerebral personality types, they enjoy debates and they look for partners who open their minds to new ideas. INTJs have a treasure chest of knowledge that they love to share with the right person.
INTJs appreciate partners who can help them get in touch with their feelings because this isn’t something that comes naturally to people of this personality type.
Both INFJs and INTJs value personal growth and that’s something that can certainly come from a relationship of this kind.
INFJs see INTJs for who they really are. INTJs aren’t typically seen as warm people but they tend to be extremely helpful, generous, and supportive. As one of the personality types who are most interested in people, INFJs look deeper and notice traits about INTJs that other people don’t see.
It works the other way too. When an INTJ takes the time to really get to know an INFJ, they realize that they are highly intelligent. Unfortunately, INFJs can be underestimated, partly due to their soft and gentle nature, but INTJs see their many layers and resilience.
There is a risk that INFJ and INTJ couples gloss over the details. While they are both focusing on the big picture, everyday admin tasks may fall by the wayside. If there’s one thing for certain though, it’s that they’ll dream big together and reach for the stars.
INFJs and INTJs both have a contemplative, self-reflective energy. As introverts, they appreciate each other’s need to recharge their social batteries and are often happy to give each other space.
- INFJs and INTJs understand and respect each other’s need for alone time. This creates a safe space for both types to recharge when they need to.
- INFJs and INTJs share a love for deep conversations and they tend to be on the same wavelength.
- INFJs help INTJs embrace their feelings while INTJs encourage INFJs to think about things more rationally.
- INFJs and INTJs share a love for organization and structure. They often like to plan in advance.
- INFJs and INTJs can end up alienating themselves if they get too comfortable in their introvert bubble.
- INFJs and INTJs can end up neglecting the details and practicalities of everyday life.
- INFJs focus on how decisions impact people while INTJs take a more analytical approach which can cause tension.
- INFJs and INTJs can end up planning everything in advance and forgetting to be spontaneous.
INFJ and INTJ compatibility style
INFJs and INTJs have an intriguing compatibility style which is a complex type of compatibility. They are likely drawn to each other for a couple of reasons.
The mutual attraction with this kind of compatibility often results from a deep respect for one another. They can learn a lot from each other.
However, there are certain challenges that will likely arise. The way this relationship plays out depends on how they react to these situations.
If they communicate openly, make an effort to try new experiences together, and take the time to understand each other, they have the potential for a deeply fulfilling and meaningful relationship.
INFJs and INTJs will often feel a sense of safety when they are in this kind of relationship and they have a unique ability to take care of each other.
This type of connection has the potential to be incredible if you recognize and appreciate the way each other’s minds work.
INFJ and INTJ communication
Communication is important in any relationship because it allows people to share their emotions, opinions, and expectations.
At the end of the day, effective communication can help both people feel valued, respected, and heard. It also reduces the risk of misunderstandings which are often the cause of arguments in relationships.
INFJs tend to place more of an emphasis on feelings when communicating while INTJs focus more on logic. INTJs can be direct in the way they communicate which can upset INFJs and cause friction in the relationship. In order to avoid this, INTJs should make it clear that they respect the INFJ’s feelings.
INFJs can be private but when they do express themselves, they sometimes do so in an emotional manner which can be confusing for INTJs. It helps if INFJs avoid overly emotional language and outbursts when they are in relationships with INTJs, particularly during serious conversations.
INFJs and INTJs usually need time to reflect when communicating with each other. Neither will be found vying for the spotlight at social events. As introverts, they will usually prefer to mull over things rather than respond in the moment.
Due to their reserved nature, there is a risk that INFJs and INTJs think they are communicating more than they actually are. On the plus side, they both appreciate silence and tend to communicate in a calm, measured manner. Both types choose their words carefully.
INFJ and INTJ connection
A shared connection is essential for any healthy relationship and one of the best ways to build a bond is to talk about interests and passions.
Seeing someone talk about something they are passionate about is deeply attractive.
INFJs and INTJs value abstract conversations and enjoy talking about all kinds of future possibilities. They can talk for hours about various concepts and they love to use their imagination.
INFJ and INTJ personality types are creative in their own ways and they appreciate the way each other think. People of these personality types find each other fascinating to talk to which is important for a long-lasting connection.
Part of building a strong connection involves respecting each other’s personalities and choices. Even if these types don’t see eye-to-eye on everything, their strong bond means that they can usually see where one another are coming from.
Connection is one of the most important pieces of the compatibility jigsaw puzzle and it comes naturally to INFJ and INTJ couples seeing as these personality types tend to be on the same wavelength.
INFJ and INTJ conflict resolution
Conflict resolution can make or break a relationship and it takes a conscious effort to get it right.
In the heat of an argument, it can be easy to forget your partner’s needs and preferences but this is when it’s most important to put yourself in their shoes.
When it comes to conflict, INFJs and INTJs often prefer to take time to process the situation. This can be beneficial for resolving the conflict as both types prefer to reflect and move at the same pace.
INFJs value harmony in their relationships and it can take them longer to bring up issues than INTJs who are more direct. INTJs should listen and empathize as well as troubleshoot the problem while INFPs should consider practical solutions rather than just focusing on emotions.
INTJs are naturals at resolving conflict in the workplace but navigating conflict in relationships can be more challenging for this type, especially if there are strong emotions involved.
As empathetic people, INFJs will try to ensure that they approach difficult situations tactfully but INTJs can prefer to be more candid. INFJs should be mindful that INTJs often don’t mean to upset them, it’s just that they prefer to say it as it is.
Being able to forgive your partner if they inadvertently hurt your feelings is key. That isn’t to say that you should be a pushover though. If your partner does upset you, you should let them know so you can work it out for the future.
INFJ and INTJ daily life
Bigger topics like communication, connection, and resolving conflict are all important for a healthy relationship. But everyday life is equally important.
Little things add up to become big things and it’s important to appreciate how your partner approaches life on a daily basis.
Both INFJs and INTJs are drawn to structure and routine in their everyday life. This can make for a harmonious day-to-day lifestyle in some ways but it can present challenges in other ways.
Seeing as both types value orderly surroundings, they usually make an effort to keep things clean and tidy. As two of the most organized personality types, INFJs and INTJs often like to plan far in advance and they’ll likely book things like weekend trips together ahead of time.
Embracing spontaneity can be a challenge for an INFJ and INTJ couple. They can be so set on their current plans that they end up being closed to spur-of-the-moment opportunities that arise. In addition, these types aren’t always the most laidback which can make for some tense moments.
When it comes to everyday behaviors, both people need to be self-aware and make sure that they find that balance of staying true to themselves and appreciating their partner’s needs.
Summary of INFJ and INTJ compatibility
In short, an INFJ and INTJ relationship has incredible potential. When couples of this type are in a relationship, they will go above and beyond to understand and accept each other completely.
It’s worth noting that these personality types have more in common than you’d expect at first glance.
No relationship is smooth all of the time but if you communicate clearly, trust each other, and show mutual respect, you’ll have the perfect recipe for building a beautiful connection.
Intriguing compatibility is based on having a deep respect for each other and relationships of this kind often provide a sense of safety.