INFJs are wise and intuitive, with a deep understanding of the complexities of human relationships. In some ways, they are a paradox when it comes to relationships. On the one hand, they crave intimacy, empathy, and deep connections. On the other hand, INFJs are also private people who have a hard time sharing their true feelings, even with those closest to them. However, if one thing is certain, it’s that INFJs take compatibility and love seriously.
When it comes to compatibility, INFJs are drawn to people who share their passion for deep conversations and have the same appreciation for abstract ideas and ideologies. A shared intuitive function is a must-have in any successful relationship between two INFJs, as they can both relate on an instinctive level. They should also be able to openly express
INFJ relationships basics
When an INFJ enters into a relationship, they can be counted on to bring insight, compassion, and a deep level of commitment. They are thoughtful, considerate partners who are always willing to listen and offer valuable advice. Other characteristics they embody are loyalty, patience, and emotional understanding. INFJs can often be quite idealistic when it comes to relationships, which is something to bear in mind.
INFJs have an exceptional ability to read other people and sense their underlying emotions. This is a huge benefit in relationships as it allows them to understand and effectively meet their partner’s needs. They often go out of their way to ensure their partners feel supported and secure. For INFJs, relationships are a source of joy and meaning.
As naturally private people, INFJs can struggle to open up to their partners in the early stages of dating, and it can be difficult to tell if an INFJ likes you at first. Essentially, they need to feel comfortable and secure in the relationship before revealing their innermost thoughts and feelings. Despite being feelers, they can be quite guarded about their emotions. If an INFJ is showing you their vulnerable side, it is a clear sign that they trust and care for you deeply.
People of this personality type generally don’t find casual, short-term relationships satisfying. They are looking for their soulmate—someone they feel an emotional connection with and who shares their core values. So, if you’re looking for something short-term, an INFJ may not be the right fit.
INFJ relationships in depth
With their natural intuition, INFJs have a gift for understanding the motivations of others and can easily detect when something is amiss in their relationship. They are quick to look for signs of trouble, and they will put in the time and effort to ensure the stability of the partnership. In fact, INFJs can even pick up on underlying issues before their partner is consciously aware of them.
Attraction is based on more than just looks for INFJs. When in a relationship, they strive to truly understand their partner. And if there’s one thing you can count on, it’s that INFJs will go above and beyond to let their partner know they care. While they might not want to spend every second of every day with them (they are introverts after all!), they will show their commitment in many ways.
When it comes to relationships, INFJs have high standards, and they aren’t ones to settle. It takes a very special person for people of this personality type to make a commitment. But when they do, it’s usually for the long run. They believe in sticking to their promises and making sure their partner feels safe and secure. After all, INFJs are fiercely loyal.
This awareness of their partner’s needs means that INFJs can struggle to maintain their own sense of identity in a relationship. They can become so focused on making the other person happy that they forget to take care of themselves. It’s important for INFJs to be aware of this and to make sure they don’t lose themselves in the process.
INFJ compatibility basics
INFJs are drawn to people who are passionate, creative, and committed to growing as individuals. They often look for someone with a strong sense of integrity and a high level of intelligence who can keep up with their complex thoughts. Other traits that INFJs value in a partner include empathy, kindness, and good communication skills.
As one of the most empathetic personality types, INFJs are best suited to partners who are compassionate and strive to always treat others with respect. For an INFJ, the way someone interacts with the world around them, particularly during difficult times, is a reflection of who they truly are. As a result, they will take note of how their partner interacts with others and how they handle challenging situations.
INFJs work best with partners who make them feel appreciated and understood. And the latter is no easy feat! They need a partner who will take the time to get to know them on a deep level and who can appreciate their unique perspectives and insights. In addition, they need someone who can understand the nuances of their emotions and empathize with them.
INFJ compatibility in depth
Some INFJs can struggle to find peace in relationships since they are so in tune with the emotions of their partners. At times, this can make it difficult for them to relax and enjoy the moment. For this reason, they appreciate partners who can help them find moments of peace and serenity. This doesn’t necessarily mean that their partner needs to be calm, but rather that their relationship can provide the two of them with an innate sense of contentment.
Because INFJs are so adept at reading people, they are often drawn to partners who intrigue them. This could mean someone who is able to surprise them with their insight or someone who can challenge their pre-conceived notions. INFJs are attracted to people who enjoy intellectual conversations and are able to hold their own in a conversation.
Personal growth is important to people of this personality type; they need partners who can help them continue to learn. Ultimately, INFJs value having a partner who is supportive of their quest for knowledge and self-actualization—someone who will help them develop mentally and emotionally while growing together as a couple.
Partners who challenge them intellectually and inspire them to grow are often ideal for INFJs. INFJs are best suited to people who are open-minded and willing to explore new ideas. An INFJ won’t be content with a partner who is apathetic to the world around them. They are attracted to people who have something interesting and unique to offer and who make them feel alive and excited.
INFJ compatibility chart
While every personality type pairing can work in relationships, some are more likely to see success than others. Here is our compatibility chart that shows the potential for INFJ relationships with different personality types.
INFJ strengths in relationships
The following strengths are typical of INFJs in relationships.
1. Supportive. INFJs are one of the most supportive personality types. They take relationships seriously, and if they commit to someone, they’ll stick by their side. Not only will they be there to lend an ear, but they’ll also offer insightful advice if needed.
2. Perceptive. INFJs have an intuitive ability to read people. They’re able to pick up on subtle cues such as body language and vocal inflections, which enables them to read between the lines. People of this personality type often instinctively know when something is wrong.
3. Empathetic. INFJs are highly empathetic and have the ability to see situations from their partners’ points of view. As naturally sensitive individuals, they care deeply about the well-being and happiness of their loved ones.
4. Great listeners. INFJs are naturally skilled listeners. They make it a point to really listen to what their partners are saying, and they don’t judge or criticize. This makes their partners feel heard and understood. It’s no wonder that this personality type is often called ‘the counselor.’
INFJ weaknesses in relationships
The following weaknesses are typical of INFJs in relationships.
1. Perfectionists. INFJs can be perfectionists, and this means that they aren’t always the easiest people to be around. They can be highly critical and judgmental of themselves, as well as the people in their lives. In some cases, they can end up putting their partner on a pedestal.
2. Need external validation. INFJs are focused on others, and while this is positive in a lot of ways, it means they can easily become dependent on the approval of their partners. They can feel anxious and insecure without external validation, which can put a strain on the relationship.
3. Prone to overthinking. INFJs are prone to overthinking in all areas of their lives, especially when it comes to dating. This is because relationships are so important to people of this personality type. As a result, they can spend too much time worrying about whether they said the right thing or upset their partner.
4. Very private. INFJs are extremely private individuals, and it can be hard for them to open up in relationships. People of this personality type have a rich inner world, but they won’t show their true personality until they’re sure that the other person is worthy of their trust.
INFJs falling in love basics
When an INFJ falls in love, they fall in love deeply. But it takes them time. They are quietly passionate individuals in all areas of their lives, including relationships. People of this personality type have high standards, and they are picky when it comes to choosing a partner. They don’t settle for anything less than their ideal, but when that person comes along, they will give them their all. Essentially, INFJs fall hard but not fast.
In addition, INFJs trust their intuition when it comes to compatibility and love. Due to their exceptional ability to read people, they have a good sense of who is right for them. So, while it can take a while for them to fall in love, they often know early on if that person is the one for them. They will use their intuition to assess the situation and determine whether or not it’s worth investing their time and energy into that person.
As natural-born idealists, INFJs will often have thought long and hard about what they are looking for when it comes to love. They’ll have a mental picture of what their ideal relationship would look like, which they will strive to achieve. While this is positive in some ways because it gives INFJs something to work towards, it can also be a hindrance because they can end up putting their partner on a pedestal. This can lead to resentment and disappointment further down the line.
Once they fall in love, INFJs are devoted and loyal partners. They are thoughtful when it comes to both the little and big things. You won’t have to worry about them forgetting special dates or anniversaries. People of this personality type also go the extra mile for the ones they love, and they’re willing to compromise if it will bring their partner joy and happiness.
INFJ falling in love in depth
Love is a priority for INFJs. They take relationships seriously, often believing that love is a powerful force for positive change. Being in love is exciting for people of this personality type but also daunting as they can worry about getting hurt. To help protect themselves from potential heartache, INFJs may take their time when it comes to falling in love. They will often think long and hard about the person they are considering as a partner, analyzing their motives and intentions.
Once they do decide to commit, you can count on an INFJ to work hard to build the relationship and make it the best it can be. For people of this personality type, loving someone means being willing to put in the effort it takes to build a strong relationship over time. As such, they take pride in putting in the work needed to ensure the success of their relationship.
As introverts, INFJs have limited energy for social interactions, so they won’t waste time on people who they don’t think are a good match. INFJs prefer quality over quantity when it comes to relationships. Depth and intimacy are of the utmost importance to people of this personality type, and they often feel that a strong connection is the key to true happiness.
At the end of the day, INFJs are romantics, albeit guarded and cautious romantics! While they might take time to fall in love, when it happens, they can be completely consumed by their emotions. This is one of the reasons why they are cautious in the first place. They want to ensure that the person they are with is worth their time and energy, as well as their heart.
INFJ flirting style basics
INFJs flirt in their own unique way. They can be quite shy, but they also have intense emotions and a deep longing for connection. Flirting for an INFJ doesn’t usually involve bold moves such as trying to steal glances or making outrageous remarks. Instead, they often rely on subtle body language and gentle conversation to express their interest.
While INFJs might not be the most daring people when it comes to flirting, they make up for it by being passionate and sincere. They don’t waste time on empty compliments or trying to be something they’re not. Instead, they express themselves honestly and authentically. One of their biggest turn-offs is superficiality.
In general, INFJs can be quite awkward when it comes to flirting, but there’s a certain charm and appeal to their shyness. They tend to attract people who appreciate their quiet and introspective nature. For INFJs, flirting isn’t just about expressing attraction—it’s also about forming a connection. They flirt as a way of getting to know the other person and establishing an emotional bond.
INFJ flirting style in depth
When an INFJ is attracted to someone, they will make an extra effort to be around them. They might not be as outwardly confident when it comes to flirting as other personality types, but they will want to make their love interest feel special by demonstrating their affection in a subtle way.
The most obvious sign of flirting for an INFJ is that they will want to get to know you on an incredibly deep level. This generally involves them asking deep, personal questions and really listening to the answers. When an INFJ likes you, they will want to understand who you are at your core.
One important caveat is that INFJs are naturally curious about people, so it can be hard to distinguish their genuine curiosity from flirtation. So don’t assume that their interest in you is romantic just because they’re asking a lot of questions. Yes, we know this can be confusing! Essentially, it’s difficult to know for sure without having an open conversation about it or looking out for other signs.
INFJ communication style basics
INFJs have a gentle communication style that often carries a hint of mystery. They often focus on the big picture. As a result, INFJs tend to prefer conversations that involve topics such as philosophy, emotions, and dreams. In addition, they usually enjoy talking about human psychology. They often speak in broad terms.
A defining trait of any INFJ is that they are innately empathetic and compassionate when it comes to communication. They run everything they say through a filter of how it will be perceived by their audience. As a result, they often take care to ensure that their words don’t come across as too harsh or judgemental. They will consciously consider the experiences and backgrounds of whoever they are speaking to and then adjust their communication style accordingly.
INFJs tend to think outside of the box. They are always looking for new ways to interpret a situation or problem. This is what enables them to come up with creative and unique insights. However, they can struggle to articulate these ideas verbally. When it comes to writing, though, it’s another story. INFJs are often very eloquent writers.
Seeing as INFJs have limited social energy, they tend to be more reserved in conversations. They may not always feel comfortable speaking their mind, especially when around strangers. Small talk can drain them of energy quickly. As a result, they prefer meaningful conversations that go beyond surface-level topics such as the weather or news.
INFJ communication style in depth
INFJs tend to be reserved in the way they communicate. They often speak in a relatively quiet voice and don’t tend to use large hand gestures or facial expressions. This can make them seem mysterious and aloof to others. However, INFJs can have a lot of inner strength that they may not express outwardly.
In addition, INFJs are often very empathetic communicators. With a natural tendency to notice social subtleties, INFJs are constantly reading between the lines and picking up on non-verbal cues. They are skilled at knowing when to pause and let other people speak and when to offer their own opinions.
In general, INFJs prefer conversations that involve exploring ideas and emotions rather than just facts and opinions. They’re not interested in talking about the specifics, though. As a result, they often skip the details, which can sometimes annoy people who want to know exactly what is going on. INFJs are some of the deepest thinkers out there, and they love discussing the complexities of life. As such, they will happily talk about the nuances of a situation and debate moral issues in great depth.
However, INFJs sometimes struggle to communicate feedback they think might hurt someone’s feelings. At times, they can be too considerate, which can make it difficult for them to be completely honest. This stems from their desire for harmony. That being said, well-developed INFJs have the ability to communicate in a direct manner, and they will do so in a way that is also gentle and understanding.
INFJ sex basics
INFJs tend to be very giving when it comes to sex. They are often attentive to the sexual needs of people they care about, and they like to make sure that their partner is able to fully enjoy themselves. However, they may struggle to feel comfortable with fully opening up in intimate situations. It may take them time to feel relaxed. Essentially, INFJs usually need to feel safe and secure on an emotional level before moving the relationship forward sexually.
True sexual compatibility for INFJs involves both a physical and emotional connection. This is what it takes for people of this personality type to truly enjoy sex because they need to be able to trust their partner and feel a deep bond. This means that they might not always be sexually attracted to someone right away, at least until they get to know them.
INFJs are highly sensitive people who have a tendency to think deeply about relationships, and this extends to sex as well. They tend to find that conversations before or after sex can be a way of bonding with their partner. More often than not, they enjoy cuddling as a way to express their love for someone.
People of this personality type care deeply about understanding the underlying emotions involved in all aspects of a relationship, including sexuality. For INFJs, sex is an opportunity to explore different aspects of themselves and their partners. When they feel comfortable, they might also be quite creative when it comes to coming up with new ideas to try in the bedroom.
INFJ sex in depth
When it comes down to how INFJs approach sex, they exhibit quite a bit of variety. Some may be passionate and uninhibited lovers who greatly enjoy physical contact. Others may view sex as something more meaningful than just an animalistic instinct, preferring cuddling and emotional bonding over wild encounters.
It’s worth noting that INFJs can struggle to be present when it comes to sex. They might get lost in their own thoughts, forgetting to really focus on the sensations and emotions of the experience. This tends to be more of a problem in the early stages of a relationship before they are able to fully relax.
Ultimately, the goal for an INFJ is usually to find a balance between emotional depth and physical pleasure so that both partners can get the most out of their sexual encounters. This might take some time for them to figure out. A willingness from both partners to communicate openly and honestly can help it along. With patience and understanding, INFJs can reach a level of satisfaction that allows them to truly enjoy sex as an intimate experience with their partner.
INFJ best matches
INFJs are people-oriented introverts who value deep connections. They are best suited to partners who are loyal and are prepared to take the time to understand their complex nature.
1. INFJ – ENTP relationships: On one hand, INFJs are attracted to the intellect, confidence, and energy of ENTPs. ENTPs help them grow by pushing them out of their comfort zone. On the other hand, ENTPs are attracted to the calm, receptive, and creative nature of INFJs. INFJs can help to keep them on track and enjoy engaging in meaningful conversations with them.
2. INFJ – ENFP relationships: On one hand, INFJs are attracted to the positive, open, and insightful nature of ENFPs. ENFPs help them let loose and enjoy life. On the other hand, ENFPs are attracted to the depth, thoughtfulness, and kindness of INFJs. They can sometimes lack direction, and INFJs can help them become more grounded and focused.
INFJ compatibility with all personality types
We have comprehensive guides to the compatibility of INFJs with each personality type. Click the links below to read each one.
Final thoughts on INFJ compatibility & relationships
Overall, INFJs seek romantic relationships that are full of emotional depth and meaning. A physical connection isn’t enough for an INFJ. They want the whole package, which includes an emotional and mental connection, too.
People of this personality type often go through life feeling misunderstood and isolated, so it’s rare for an INFJ to find a partner who really gets them. But when they do meet that special someone, they will give the relationship their all.